Then people on lemmy will have to find some other topic to doom about. But I have faith in their abilities to solve this problem!

I assume this is a joke, but people don’t just die and disappear off the face of the earth. When someone dies in a climbing accident, people find out, and the death is documented in climbing accident journals.

I remember hearing about this, so I tend to avoid yardsaling my climbing gear all over the parking lot. But at the same time, I don’t really worry about it. If leaving nylon on asphalt actually caused a strength reduction to the point where the gear would fail, we’d hear about a lot more climbing deaths due to snapped ropes - which we don’t.

Me, imagining your mom walking into your childhood bedroom after you move out and finding the walls covered in gay porn

Most? I am highly skeptical of this claim. Iirc, lgbt people make up about 10% of the population. Depending on your interpretation, it could be far more, but let’s say 10%. “Most” of 10% would be 5%. Are you really claiming that AIDS killed a whole 5% of the population in the 80s? That would be… a lot

You are correct, housing next to good transit is more in demand in the US than other housing. But

1. There is not much good transit in the US. Being next to a bus stop doesnt count if the bus takes 45 minutes to get anywhere.

2. YES. THERE IS NO HOUSING TO BEGIN WITH. Much of the time, when US cities build things like light rail stations, they build them along highways or industrial parts of town. The idea is that people will drive to their suburban homes, park at the light rail, and take the train to the city downtown. Is this a terrible assumption to make about peoples commuting habits? Yes. Is this a terrible way to design a transit system? Also yes. But to mess things up further, higher density housing is often banned around these valuable transit stops. Instead, they build high speed roads and parking lots (so walking from existing homes or businesses is not desireable or feasible) and then mandate that the area must be single family homes or office buildings or warehouses or whatever.

3. You are correct that housing built near transit would likely be in demand. But housing prices are brought down when more housing is built in general - the housing that is built doesn’t, itself, need to be cheaper.

Ok, well I’m not trolling and I’m decently smart, but I hope you sleep well.

This is true. But at the same time, shy guys should realizing that complaining about how “women should make the first move” will accomplish literally nothing, ever.

First of all, most women get asked out all the time. Why would you go to the store to buy milk if someone delivers it for free to your doorstep every day? Asking someone out is (1) scary and (2) takes effort - if someone already has a ton of suitors, they have no incentive to do the scary hard thing.

Second of all, what do women like? Say it with me - women like ✨CONFIDENCE✨. Like, for example, the confidence displayed by saying hi to her and asking her out on a date. “Man asks out woman” is one of the most common tropes in the dating dance, and a lot of women like doing that dance. They like a man being a man, and herself being a woman, and each of you playing your roles. Of course not all women are like this, but a lot of women are. Yes, including left leaning, feminist, lgbtq±supporting, Trump-hating women. Complaints about how “women should make the first move more because that would be more fair” will fall flat on their face with these women, because they don’t want to do that.

And third, suppose your complaint is successfully filed with the bureau of women’s dating behaviors, and the board approves your request. Now all women must ask out 5 men per week. Who are they going to ask out? Do you think that it will perhaps be the men who are confident - ya know, the trait everyone has agreed women universally like? Do you think they are going to ask out the guy who is eagerly making his way through the party, meeting everyone with a huge smile and flirting all the pretty girls? Because that’s what I think would happen. Even if women were asking more men out, the shy guys who make this complaint would never benefit from this phenomenon because women want to date the guys who can ask other girls out, even if they choose not to exercise that option.

“Here’s some good advice to help you in hard times”

Lemmy: no, you don’t understand, this spilled milk is the worst thing that has literally happened to anyone, and it’s all because of CAPITALISM!!!

That’s a reasonable problem to have, but I think it is more created by your limiting beliefs than anything else.

My work environment makes it impossible for people to casually talk even when not much is going on

Beginning or end of the day? During lunch? Even if you shoot the shit with just one person every day, that’s one more than you seem to be doing right now.

but there’s not really anyone to talk to during those times other than maybe people MUCH younger than me (like around 10 years younger) and I feel even more uncomfortable talking to them since I don’t want to seem like a creep or that older guy trying to be cool with the kids.

This is a symptom of being chronically online. Older people talk to younger people all the time. Hell, older people date younger people all the time. People like to talk to people, and if there are people around, its not weird to talk to them regardless of their age. As someone approaching my mid-thirties, one of my favorite ways to talk to college-aged kids is to lean into our age difference and just be like “so what are you kids these days all into?” And if you are worried about being a creep, you can lean into that, too “Hey, I hope I’m not just being a total creep right now, but I was kinda bored and wanted to see what you kids are up to.”

Finally, you can make small talk with literally anyone who comes into your proximity during the day. People waiting for the bus with you, people just chillin in the park, grocery store checkout clerks. For example, say you are checking out at the grocery store.

“Hey, how’s it going?”

I’m doing good. You?

^ this is the stock response that is just acknowledging you exist. Follow up with something that indicates that you actually give a shit.

“Day going good so far?”

etc

People typically give these sorts of responses when either (a) they are tired or (b) they can sense that you aren’t actually interested in them.

You should understand that a and b are interrelated, as almost no one is ever too tired to express how they are feeling to someone they trust.

The trick here is not to keep asking questions, but to empathize:

“How’s work treating you?”

It’s work.

^ this “neutral” response is actually a polite negative.

“Yeah, tell me about it - my job’s boring as shit. At least it’s almost lunch time…”

Note that this doesn’t always work, and the person may just keep giving “blah” responses. That’s fine. You tried to connect. You tried to be interested. Accept their non-interest and try again with the next person. You will get better at being interested and empathizing with practice, and your increased care for others will become more apparent to others, generating better responses.

And when climate change is solved, it will only be reported as increased gas prices and laid off oilfield workers.

Global rates of childhood hunger have seen a general downward trend. Unfortunately, the article doesnt list which countries these increases are seen most dramatically in - but my guess is that this is intentional, and the increase is seen mostly in countries where rates of poverty and hunger are dropping. Fewer people are starving to death because of improvements in global food delivery, and that means that they have more access to potato chips and chocolate cake. Certainly increasing childhood obesity isn’t a good thing - but it is better than it was before.

THIS IS PROGRESS!!! We should CELEBRATE THIS! The perfect is not the enemy of the good. We aren’t where we want to be, but we are further along the path, and we should be happy about that.

I’ll take a step back even further, and pontificate my own point of view.

Modern conservatism, at its core, is the natural set of beliefs that well-adjusted humans have.

• Family is good, and I should support my family.
• Having children is good, and we should have more children.
• Our society is good. We should celebrate our anscestors and carry on our traditions.
• We should defend our society and traditions from outsiders and those who wish to tear it down.
• There is a Great Force, which loves us and is on our side.
• Bad things generally happen to bad people and good things generally happen to good people. So if good things are happening for a person, they are probably good, and if bad things are happening to a person, they are probably bad.
• When obviously bad things happen to a good person or vice versa, it is because the Great Force has a plan for an even better future which we are ignorant of by virtue of our weakness.
• Gaining wealth and power is good.
• Because our leaders are wealthy and powerful, they must be good people.
• If our leader is obviously not a good person, it is because the Great Force has a plan for them to make the future better for us.
• Large groups of outsiders are dangerous, and are not to be trusted. If they encroach on our territory or take our resources, we should fight them.
• If we are controlled by outsiders, this is bad, and we should fight them.
• Our people are what is important to us. Outsiders should be left to handle their own problems.
• The roles we have in society give us value. People who fulfill their roles well should be celebrated. People who do not fulfill their roles should be rejected.
• The things I learned as a child are true.

With this set of beliefs, a human will fit in to any society and role they end up in; will work to support, grow, and defend that society; and will create as many children as possible. This is a fairly obvious blueprint for the evolutionary fitness of an individual, and the continued existance of a society. And this explains why conservatism is such a universal phenomenon around the world - it is the expression of our natural human instincts.

It is also why conservatives always seem to have a monopoly on “common sense” - a liberal’s common sense still requires you to think. A conservative’s common sense goes straight to your gut. And it explains why conservatives are so good at working together: liberals must find an intellectual basis of agreement before they work together; conservatives already know they should work together, since they see other conservatives have their same base emotional feelings. Plus they are part of the same in-group.

I mean, basically everyone hates toll roads, including me. And I think toll roads are a good idea! People just don’t like paying for things they arent used to paying for.

Roads (not streets) should absolutely be tolled. And adding onto this, any given piece of property should be required to pay the full burden of the infrastructure maintenance required to serve it. The failure to impose appropriate costs like these is a big part of why many areas see rampant suburban sprawl and car dependency: when using the roads is free, you are incentivized to use the free resource as much as possible.

The same thing would happen if the government said they were giving out unlimited free flour to everyone. Everyone would start using flour as much as possible for as many things as possible (cue Tiktoks explaining how to use flour as makeup, or how to use flour to patch drywall), and you would have to stand in line forever in order to carry away your big armloads of flour, and hope the government flour depot didn’t run out before you got there.

And that’s what happens with untolled roads. Sitting in traffic is you waiting in line to recieve the underpriced resource of road access. What we actually want is the ability of people to transport themselves from point A to point B quickly, effectively, and affordably, and the solution to that is transit.

Toll roads, then exempt busses from the tolls.

The Progress Paradox by Gregg Easterbrook, helps explain why “the sky is falling” narrative conservatives like to use is attractive to us.

I gotta say, “the sky is falling” narrative should be more than familiar to anyone on Lemmy, lol

I mean, certainly I would take it. But I would still keep working out because I have other goals I want to achieve - I want to look good, hit certain athletic goals (like 2xBW dead), and tick certain party tricks (like a one arm handstand). But sure, suppose the pill created all the physiological changes I wanted.

Well in that case, I would still do some sort of skill training (handstands aren’t just pure muscle). And also, I find that some short amount of somewhat heavy lifting primes my body for other sorts of exercise - it makes me feel warm and snappy. But fine, maybe there’s a pill for that too.

And then - well great! I could stop lifting weights and pounding pavement, I suppose. What would I do instead? Well, I would spend more time doing my hobbies, which are exercise based. I would play more ultimate frisbee, go rock climbing, go canyoneering, go mountain running. I would cycle cross country, hike long trails, learn to surf, get into acrobatics, and become a breakdancer. I would landscape my back yard, build houses, experiment with crazy weird diy ideas that are probably a bad idea. Also, imagine if you got two people who took the pill together - the sex would be craaaazyyyy!!! I would use my athleticism as I use it now - to meet new people with a common interest, have fun with friends, explore new places, push my mental limits, and create artistic statements of my lived experience.

And I will refer back to what I said before - the way to like exercise is to make it fun, easy, and social. It doesn’t have to mean 3 sets of 8 on the leg press and running until you hate yourself on the treadmill. I didn’t get into exercise by going to the gym. I just had a vague notion that exercise made you not fat, and started playing pickup ultimate frisbee because the people were friendly, I had fun doing it, and a group met every day during lunch.

And if I may be so bold - I think this concept will work for you, too. But only if you can entertain the notion that some forms of exercise might be enjoyable. Because if you always show up to every new thing you try with the attitude that it is definitely terrible and you will hate it… then you will.

You’re saying that if I trick my brain into thinking that the shitty activity that sucks and makes me feel terrible somehow isn’t shitty, doesn’t suck, and doesn’t make me feel terrible; I’ll somehow believe it?

Yes

Sorry, my brain doesn’t work like that.

It does work like that.

It tends to reject blatant fucking lies, especially when they come from myself.

Then tell it the truth you want to believe.

Truth is, you need to exercise to not die. You can choose to see this as a terrible burden you are forced to endure. Or you can see it as a stroke of luck, pushing you out of your comfort zone to do something that will be beneficial to your overall health, in addition to being something that will bring you joy for the rest of your life. Either way of looking at it is completely valid - it’s just your choice if you see it as a good thing or a bad thing. But if you see it as a good thing… you’ll probably be happier.

As others have said in this thread: don’t go home after work. Go somewhere else. That’s it.

If you wanna start doing a workout routine, join a gym close to your work and go straight there instead of going home. Want to learn to dance? Find something to do away from home until it is time to go to a dance class that happens every week. Have hobbies you would normally do alone at home? Start a group dedicated to doing those hobbies together in a public place, and meet there regularly.

If you feel really exhausted after your workday, almost universally you can use this technique: go to the next place you are going to be, find somewhere to sit or lay down, then set a timer for 15 minutes and just close your eyes. You can meditate if you want, but that’s not what this is about. You are literally just sitting there, doing nothing, resting your eyes. The hardest part is dealing with the fact that you feel bored and want to look at your phone - don’t. Being bored is a way to mentally recover from your stress. Looking at your phone doesn’t do this.

Then, work on building up a schedule of events in your life for your after-work time. These should be things that:

1. Are fun. They are things you actually want to do. They are goals you chose for yourself because they are personally meaningful.
2. Are social. You are spending time with other people with the same interest, who you enjoy spending time with. You can reasonably expect that they will be happy to see you, and that you will be happy to see them.
3. Are regularly scheduled. You should be showing up to the same place at the same time every day or week.

Gradually build up a schedule like this for 4-5 days out of the work week, and possibly on the weekend. Leave one afternoon per week open for life admin - laundry, cleaning, groceries, etc.

Don’t go home from work. Go to a place to do the thing from work instead.