Is this your first day here? Like, on Earth?

That’s not fair. 8 year olds aren’t nearly this dumb.

I’d love it if the media would stop reporting that Trump doing the worst fucking thing imaginable is a “bombshell.”

Yeah, I’m not really commenting on Jones or what he said. The press conference actually happened, and it’s absolutely bizarre for her to just randomly come out and say this. No one asked, and yet she still felt compelled to have this conference.

Just so fucking bizarre that she holds a completely unprompted press conference just to announce this. Clearly getting out ahead of…something. But what?

I’m suddenly regretting not whipping up some chicken tacos for dinner tonight.

Anyone in the Secret Service willing to pull a Jamie Lannister right about now? Please??

Guys, I think this fucking prick is still alive. And he really wants to use a nuke.

Shut the fuck up, Russia.

It’s not so much the use of the word, but more to do with the general flow of what was written. It just doesn’t “feel” like something that dipshit would write. It feels more like someone doing a poor impersonation of him.

It’s weird how it seems like something he would totally write, but at the same time doesn’t? Sure, there’s the shitty lack of grammar and randomly capitalized words…yet it just doesn’t seem completely him. “Open the fuckin’ straits,” just doesn’t read at all like something he would write. I don’t know, I think I really just want and need to see THAT headline pop up on my phone - so I’m definitely just grasping at whatever glimmer of hope I can find.

Yeah, just a quick question for Israel; what in the actual fucking fuck is wrong with you fuckers?

Sorry boss, went a bit over on fuel costs this trip. If I need to chip in a few hundred million from my personal account, I can make it work.

Facebook? Are you fucking serious?

Imagine being literally off the planet and still be expected to check your work email.

The way this headline seemed to unintentionally liken Bondi to a turd is amazingly appropriate.

Would you like to know how much it costs per minute to operate an Apache helicopter? Here’s a hint; it’s a lot. Now where the fuck do you think that money comes from?

One day, journalism students will research this time period as the age of news media “breaking” news that was already plainly fucking obvious to anyone with a functioning brain and working eyeballs.

Breaking news; Republican acts like a Republican.

Do JD and Erika force her to sit in the cuck chair?