I want you to realise that most systems, including the ones I mentioned, are simpler than D&D. It will not take multiple sessions to learn the rules. For the love of god, you are spending more time arguing against learning new systems than it would take to just learn the new systems.

Oh, I’m a good, law abiding person, definitely. I’d never pirate, even if it means I’m missing out on a whole cough Trove cough of games. Sorry, bad cough.

You also aren’t obligated to play D&D. You can play something else where you don’t have to ignore 70% of the game to get what you want. If you just want an action resolution system, play Kids On Bikes. Or Gumshoe. Or Genesys. Or flip a coin, heads you succeed.

If you’re going to buy a system just to ignore most of it, D&D is one of the most expensive to pick.

If that’s how you’re measuring it, then about half of the rules are about combat or magic. If you play D&D without that, you are playing half a game.

Just tell your players they can’t choose spell casting classes

In other words, remove those classes from your game.

To play without magic and combat, you’d need to ignore most of chapter 2 (only human); most of chapter 3 (only 3 classes get first level non-combat, non-magic features, and two are spellcasters); half of chapter 5 (no weapons or armour); half of chapter 6 (no combat feats); chapters 9, 10 and 11; and most of the appendices. I did a quick check, and you’d use less than 100 pages out of the 318 in the rulebook.

So much for “literally zero”.

I want you to look through the core rules and see how much of it you’d have to remove to reflect a non-violent, non-magical setting. And at that point, why are you still using D&D?

Are you saying you don’t wanna smooch Martian Manhunter yourself?

Okay, but also, all video games are multiplayer, so you can only play Stardew (or even just Oblivion) if you can convince your friends to play it with you. And the people I know will insist they don’t have enough hard drive space for Pong, so I guess I’m stuck playing Skyrim.

That would legitimately slap. Sadly, I feel like any company big enough to do the concept justice would be too risk-averse unless a big IP is attached.

If it’s such a huge chore to play your game, then why did you make it? More than that, why would anyone else play it?

That’s my bet, too. Either that or the nice anniversaries.

In reverse order from your ban, you commented about:

• Phishing email security.
• Nice anniversaries.
• Tesseract’s blocklist, three times with code citations.
• Fact-checking Google.
• Watch prices.
• Hitler’s treaties.
• A Star Trek sound bank.

So we have some suspects. None of them really warrant a ban, tho.

I bet Shakespeare is so freaking psyched he gets to meet Patrick Stewart.

Well you obviously shit in the room on the right, cause that’s the one where you moon the toilet.

I usually see it as a man saying “I don’t like women”, then someone else mistakes them for a sexist and says “that’s not good”, then THEY get mistaken for a homophobe. Hence “(character) is homophobic?”

This person needs a shower.

It certainly is a take. I’ll let you know if anyone has a take like that so you can dunk on them. Be sure to let them know that enjoyment has no bearing on slavery one way or the other, while you’re at it.

“It’s not slavery if they enjoy it” is certainly a take.

Ah, but if AI have souls, then this is slavery and you’re going straight to hell for it.

If I take a shower, that won’t suddenly make me attractive to girls. And yet, if I don’t take a shower, my stench will make me unattractive to girls.

On second thoughts, the “why bother voting” crowd would probably struggle with an analogy about taking a shower.