This kind of thing is terrible. Happens to me too. Some quiet nights amplify loud thoughts.

There’s ways of dealing with this, though. All take practice. These work for me:

• force myself to leave the bad place and go to a peaceful one; a good memory or a serene place. Takes self control, but I am in control of my thoughts, after all. I won’t let them run free.
• creating a regular sleep routine was important. This thing was definitely worse when my body had no clue when I was going to bed. Fixed times help. A wind down routine is also useful (you know, dim lights, light reading, etc.).
• in my case, if these dark thoughts don’t go away, it is usually unresolved stuff, like insecurities. Just writing it out calms me. Not to solve the issue tonight, but to help me understand that I dont have to think about this right now, because I’ve written it down. I can deal with this tomorrow. Then tomorrow I’ll take it further.

Maybe this helps one of you out there.

Have a good night, all.

Edit: a mostly boring podcast helps as well.

Nah. It’s mostly shameful moments of me being in middle school: 15-25 years ago. I was a kid, but I can’t forgive myself and I often ruminate over these 3 things before sleep. That’s why I can’t sleep without a boring show playing nearby

Just 10? Amateurs.

Can I have that with a side of irrelevant, minor mistakes that nobody but me cared about. Ideally, they would be from decades ago, but not every place carries vintages like that

Yes, there’s a select few known as fucking everyone.

Yeah, but it can cover a far larger period than 10 years if I’m in the right (wrong?) frame of mind - like being overwhelmed with shame and self-hatred for doing something selfish when I was 4 years old.

Thankfully, these days I can generally shut it down by reading a story or something for 10 minutes before I go to sleep.

…I don’t want to talk about it.

Whenever that’s happened, it usually means my mind is thinking about random things because I’m not tired enough. Time for me to get up and find something to do!

Sometimes. My mind playfully mixes it up, though. Instead of dwelling on the past it’ll force me to second guess relationships with friends and colleagues, or it may throw in the inevitably death of loved ones.

In all seriousness, I usually drift off pretty well. I tend to think about a warm, cosy place where I’m safe from a raging wintery storm outside. This place also has snacks, hot drinks and internet. Sometimes it’s a lighthouse or sometimes it’s like an isolated weather station. Pretty weird, I know, but it keeps the mental wolves from the door, so to speak.