With a rise in people opting for non-monogamy, experts suggest the idea of the traditional couple is radically changing
  • KyuubiNoKitsune@lemmy.blahaj.zone
    10·
    3 days ago

    As someone whos mental health and attachment style can’t cope with Poly, RA or ENM, it’s starting to feel more and more hopeless when trying to date, 90% of the queer people I know are one of those. My ex made me feel broken and wrong for wanting a mono relationship and tried to convince me to be ENM because apparently mono is rooted in colonialism.

    I’m just like, am I not allowed to like what I like?

    Its fucked and makes me feel like I’ll be alone forever.

  • Jul (they/she)@piefed.blahaj.zoneEnglish
    19·
    3 days ago

    Unethical and hierarchical non-monogamy is risky emotionally, ethical non-hierarchical non-monogamy without envy driven rules is not any more or less risky emotionally and can be very rewarding with truly loving partners as you don’t have to rely on a single person to provide things you need when it’s painful for them to be forced into providing those things since you can’t find another partner to provide those things.

    Especially bad for ace or disabled people or women with vaginal issues and men with erectile issue when their partner is left sexless, but they need it to be fulfilled for example, or when one partner needs lots of physical touch but the other has trauma related to it, or a partner who loves to worship breasts, but has a partner with very sensitive nipples, but other than these issues the relationships are great. With ENM those things can be fulfilled by other partners while maintaining an even stronger relationship with the first partner.