I mean like: How long does it take before you brain goes: oh shit, I exist… I remember, I am a living thing, human, my name is [■■■ ■■■] and my current location is [■■■] and oh shit I’m late for [work/school/event] (or if its weekend, its like: oh… nothing’s happening, life is boring)
Like you know what I’m saying, like the Terminator HUD thing after it reboots and it takes a few seconds before it can identify a target and then recognize its mission… that type of thing.
Or do you wake up and within 1 nanosecond realize the state of your existence?
depends on the cause of the wakeup. alarm? 10 minutes.
kid or dog or cat vomiting? about 12 attoseconds.
yuuuuuup
if I choose to actually get up when I wake up naturally at the right point in the sleep cycle but it’s 17 minutes before I want to wake up, I’m sure awake in a second or two
if I choose to ignore that and go back to sleep for 23 minutes, then it takes a few minutes to fully wake up nowadays
if my dog is standing on my chest making a hoarking sound, I’m out of bed on my way out the bedroom door yelling at her to follow me before the other one even gets up
you clearly know my pain. then we get to play the game “no, just barf outside, it’s fine to barf out here, look, I can tell you’re gonna yark so just do it…” 40 minutes later as I’m trying to get the family out the door together, HURRK HURRRK HURRRRK HUUUUUURRRK
oh thankfully I don’t have to wait for it to happen later, it’s a struggle to make it outside — once they start, it’s happening. I’m just happy if they puke on the hardwood and not on a rug. been thinking about trying to teach them to puke in the shower
friggin’ bastards beg for dinner as early as possible but then puke in the morning if they haven’t eaten in the past 14 hours
Our pointer ate so much problematic shit as a puppy (mice, etc) that we inadvertently trained him to go to the shower when he started hoarking in the middle of the night several times a week.
Unfortunately as an adult dog he eats actual shit from the yard and needs to be directed outside/to the shower when he gets the windup going which is worse in several ways.
But definitely train to throw up in the tub/shower if you can, especially at night in a northern climate it is great not having to chase them out of your room, down the stairs, out into the yard as they’re doing their best dinosaur call
the worst mess I’ve ever had to clean up from a dog was when she puked up dog shit. and I’ve unfortunately cleaned up a lot of diarrhea and puke due to these sensitive assholes lol
that was disgusting. I’m usually fairly good at detaching from the grossness of the situation, but something about scooping puked up dog shit into a dust pan nearly made me vomit
the weird thing is our poop-eating dog isn’t the one that’s food motivated. she sometimes has to be coaxed to finish her meal before she lets the other dog in to check if there’s any leftovers. it’s not like she’s hungry. she just sometimes sees poop in the yard and thinks ‘yeah I should scarf that down before somebody notices’
they both eat rabbit poop and grass, at least rabbit poop isn’t problematic I guess
I’m ashamed to admit I’ve dragged a dog bodily across the room to get them to puke on the tile or wood flooring. but I’d do it again.
one of my hounds likes to make pukey noises, then go outside AND EAT GRASS THAT MAKES HER VOMIT LIKE CLOCKWORK.
0.o
bro you are your own self fulfilling vomit prophecy. just don’t eat the *@!)$%^*ing grass
“Tummy hurts, gonna hard reset the situation and see if it helps.”