I feel like crap all the time, and I’m running out of curt answers.
I don’t want to lie and say I’m good just because that’s what’s expected of me, but I don’t want to invite discussion into why I feel poorly.
My go-to response is “Living the dream,” because if this life is a dream I hope to wake up soon. Plus not only is it considered an acceptable answer, it can be played off as a joke.
If anyone needs extra context, being asked “how are you” is an extended part of the greeting here. The asker is really just saying hello still, and although some kind of answer is expected, they aren’t actually curious about your welfare. A genuine response throws people off balance, and is probably unwarranted. Think of coworkers, service workers, or even total strangers being asked this dozens of times a day.
“Thanks, how are/about you?”
So, not responding and directing the attention to the person who asked. Especially useful, if the person asking isn’t even (genuinely) interested, but just asking as a form of greeting. The ones who care might either understand you don’t want to talk about it or will inquire once more.
Hmm… Now that I think about it, that is awfully close to some US American’s way of replying with the exact same question, omitting any kind of reply, concluding the greeting.