So, my friend Steve insists that he is fine but always seems angry/talks in an annoyed or frustrated tone and it makes me sad. He doesn’t seem to care about anything and he says he cares about me but he’s so dry, usually depressed, and doesn’t wanna talk about it, insisting he’s fine and doesn’t talk to me at ALL. It’s really draining but I feel like a bad person. I wanna be there for him but I just feel like I’m bothering Steve.
I used to be like Steve. It took a lot of years until I looked back and realized my mindset probably made a lot of people feel like you do now. Didn’t start treatments or therapy until years into college. You can’t rush someone’s journey to improve, it goes at their pace. They’ll appreciate it if you take the time for yourself that you need, and welcome them into anywhere that you reasonably can. Even if they refuse every offer or sentiment, they’ll still know you were there for them, and it will matter.
This is very good advice. I had my “Steve” time as well, and it lasted for pretty much a decade before I got myself into just enough trouble that I was semi forced into seeking help. The help did help, but the biggest help was just getting me to stop denying the world and going day by day and to start looking at the bigger picture. I admitted to myself that I was dealing with a combination of inherited mental health issues but also that I was using a bad thing in my past as an excuse to feed the mental health issues. I kept the issues at the forefront of my identity and didnt let myself heal. Once I was able to say that I was doing that, I was able to put it behind me. It doesnt magically go away, but it enabled me to grow other aspects of myself as well.