When poet Maggie Smith’s Good Bones went viral, it helped to expose a faultline at the centre of her marriage. What happened when the true dynamic of her relationship was revealed?
This is such a hard thing to see and then to accept as real and truthful. It hurts horribly, so so painful.
When I think of what she gave in order to be there for him, it hurts even more.
When I finally faced this about my ex ,I cried so hard I couldn’t breath. I couldn’t share the same room with him, it felt like a betrayal to me.
However, to him? It was just the water we all swim in. Heartbreaking for both parties I think.
That he shouldn’t experience love in any depth is also tragic.
My sweet mother birthed and raised 10 children from that man.
The fact that he would not even attempt or even attempt to learn to care for her in her moment of agony and need makes me fucking sick.
I’m so sorry you had to deal with that heart-shatter with your ex… when you give so much only be left cold, it’s… something so awful and lonely and primal. It hurts so much. I’m so sorry.
This whole conversation (that I’m just barely catching up on) is making me feel better. This year, I went to my long-distance SO of ten years to tell him that I wasn’t okay and needed to step back from certain aspects of our relationship so I could focus on me and not end my life.
He tried to pressure me twice, and then just stopped reaching out to me. By the time I noticed, it had been a week. I let it stay that way, realizing he didn’t actually see me as a friend or even a human being. My heart has been breaking for six months. I really love him. I really thought he was my guy. But when I couldn’t give him what he wanted because of something I needed to give myself, it all fell apart.
I will die alone. But at least I won’t die by my own hand today.
It sucks that those are our choices doesn’t it? Live with a little loneliness but a lot of peace and joy , or not lonely but also harassed and always second, third ,or not even there.
Like you, I’ve left the entire idea behind. I dated quite a bit once I was single and was always disappointed. The pool is just not there, at least where I live.
I am way more happy though, and just made peace with things. None of us gets everything in life, I’ve had lots of fun and love my work. I think that is success at this point.
This is such a hard thing to see and then to accept as real and truthful. It hurts horribly, so so painful. When I think of what she gave in order to be there for him, it hurts even more. When I finally faced this about my ex ,I cried so hard I couldn’t breath. I couldn’t share the same room with him, it felt like a betrayal to me.
However, to him? It was just the water we all swim in. Heartbreaking for both parties I think. That he shouldn’t experience love in any depth is also tragic.
My sweet mother birthed and raised 10 children from that man.
The fact that he would not even attempt or even attempt to learn to care for her in her moment of agony and need makes me fucking sick.
I’m so sorry you had to deal with that heart-shatter with your ex… when you give so much only be left cold, it’s… something so awful and lonely and primal. It hurts so much. I’m so sorry.
This whole conversation (that I’m just barely catching up on) is making me feel better. This year, I went to my long-distance SO of ten years to tell him that I wasn’t okay and needed to step back from certain aspects of our relationship so I could focus on me and not end my life.
He tried to pressure me twice, and then just stopped reaching out to me. By the time I noticed, it had been a week. I let it stay that way, realizing he didn’t actually see me as a friend or even a human being. My heart has been breaking for six months. I really love him. I really thought he was my guy. But when I couldn’t give him what he wanted because of something I needed to give myself, it all fell apart.
I will die alone. But at least I won’t die by my own hand today.
It sucks that those are our choices doesn’t it? Live with a little loneliness but a lot of peace and joy , or not lonely but also harassed and always second, third ,or not even there.
Like you, I’ve left the entire idea behind. I dated quite a bit once I was single and was always disappointed. The pool is just not there, at least where I live.
I am way more happy though, and just made peace with things. None of us gets everything in life, I’ve had lots of fun and love my work. I think that is success at this point.
Cheers, glad any of this helped!