“Punch” is the name of the adorable baby monkey. There was no violence, thankfully. All of the animals are unharmed.
And the point of this idiocy?
It was later revealed that this appalling stunt was orchestrated purely as a promotional gimmick for a cryptocurrency meme coin.
These fucking morons are not going to learn until they receive real consequences for their actions.
I hope they see real time in a Japanese prison.
Those 98% conviction rate better work wonders this time!
What the 99.9% Figure Actually Measures
The conviction rate tracks only cases where a prosecutor has formally indicted a defendant and brought the case to trial. It does not reflect the outcome of all police investigations, all arrests, or all cases referred to prosecutors. This distinction matters enormously. Japanese prosecutors decline to indict in roughly 60% of cases referred to them by police, meaning fewer than one in three cases that police hand off ever reaches a courtroom.1 The 99.9% applies only to that narrow slice of cases that survived the screening process.
This makes direct comparisons with other countries misleading. In the U.S. federal system, prosecutors indict more than 80% of referred cases, but over 97% of those are resolved through plea bargains where the defendant agrees to plead guilty in exchange for reduced charges or a lighter sentence. If you counted those guilty pleas as convictions the same way Japan counts trial outcomes, the U.S. federal conviction rate would also exceed 99%. The roughly 83% conviction rate Americans typically hear about applies only to contested trials. Japan has no comparable plea bargaining system for most crimes, so nearly all its cases go to a full trial, and the 99.9% figure reflects verdicts after that process.
Like America isn’t hated enough around the world already.
I hope they throw them in jail for a year. Make an example out of them.
This is inexcusable and indefensible. I hope the judge thinks so, too.
I thought they punched a baby monkey, which terrified observers.
I thought it meant a monkey was punching a baby but it got scared by the stunters (is this a word?)
I hate english headlines. I can almost never parse the meaning
I hate english headlines. I can almost never parse the meaning
No, you just hate illiterate people who write English headlines.
Should be,
Two Americans Arrested for Terrifying the Baby Monkey, “Punch,” in Reckless Promotional Stunt
The addition of the two commas, the word “the” and quotes around the word “punch” are grammatically necessary and change the meaning of the sentence.
Like, punching a monkey is already bad but specifically throwing a baby monkey punch at a baby monkey is next level evil. Like how do you even practice such a punch to begin with, you’d have to… Oooh!
That’s not what happened, but it doesn’t explain why the monkeys face is bloody in the photo
you mean the plushie or the alive monkey?
The real monkey has crusted over blood under his nose (and it looks like above their left eye)
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I pity most Americans
I despise a significant number of them
I spend a lot of time in the US, my fiancée is American
The problem is that even the good people have been beaten into submission
They have given up, because (and this isn’t untrue) they see the problems, but they’re bigger than what they can deal with when they’re stretched close to their breaking point already
This is by design. Those with the power know exactly what they’re doing, and it’s working.
Where are you from? I just want to live somewhere where my voice matters again.
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We make it so easy. :(
I was somewhat ok with you guys until 2016ish, after that then wow. Just wow.
Can you work out why…My meaning is we make it so easy…to hate us. The country has certainly had lots of issues for…ever. And yes, it’s gotten like exponentially worse since 2016
Plenty of us sympathise
If you can get out, then get out
There’s a whole world where life isn’t shit and cruelty isn’t celebrated
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Yep. Stay classy Americans.
We really need a global black list for travel for these kinds of assholes. Keep them in their own shithole country and never allow them to leave anymore. Like these guys or for example johnny somali.
We already have that. It’s weaponized to mostly ban people of Islamic faith.
We shouldn’t have such a db
Indeed and it will be expanded to include people like me, I might already be on it, because israel.
Easy, just stop letting Americans in (and screen Brits just to be safe)
If they’re in jail, they’re lot traveling.
No need for some unachievable world wide “asshole no travel list”, the authorities of the affected countries just need to do their job properly.
This is one of those things were the victimized nations mostly are self-selecting by not treating people doing this kind of shit hard enough.
I remain confused why a currency needs a community.
No community means nobody to scam!
currency is powered by faith. if nobody believes in its value, then it has none.
Oh so that’s why on 30 April at night we all get together on Blocksberg to chant about how much we love the euro.
EUROLIEBE! EUROLIEBE!
EUROLIEBE!!!
I predict in our lifetimes we will see the end of the faith in the currency.
To the team at Ichikawa Zoo: please check your DMs. We would like to donate ¥1,000,000 toward improving the monkey enclosure and supporting the incredible work you do caring for these animals.
In unusable meme coin?
Hoping to see them in prison.
What are you in for?
Monkeying around
Read the article the “response” from the meme coin Twitter is heinous.
Post as quoted in the article from the group’s X/Twitter account:
Gmemecoin,
We’re aware of the stunt that took place early this morning, when one of our community members entered the Punch enclosure at Ichikawa Zoo in Tokyo dressed in our mascot costume and carrying a teddy bear version of himself.
First and foremost, we are endlessly grateful for the cult we have built together and for a community that continues pushing boundaries and creating standalone virality out of thin air.
You’re built different.
That said, with our Season 1 Create to Earn campaign going live tonight, we want to remind everyone to respect local laws and never put yourselves, others, or any animals at risk.
Wild energy is part of the culture, but safety always comes first.
We have reviewed the footage from several angles, and we are happy to confirm that no monkey was touched or harmed during the stunt. From what we can tell, the sole intention was to give Punch a fresh new teddy bear to keep him company.
To the team at Ichikawa Zoo: please check your DMs. We would like to donate ¥1,000,000 toward improving the monkey enclosure and supporting the incredible work you do caring for these animals.
We hope you’re as hyped for Season 1 as we are.
Quoted tweet for context.
Memecoin Mode.
EDIT: ¥1,000,000 ≈ US$6,300 or €5,400
That’s gross.
It’s fun that we can just offer bribes to stifle litigation out in the open now.
Yeah. Funny.
The Japanese quite famously do not take kindly to this or other kinds of jackassery.
They let Johnny Somali walk out of Japan though. And the same for that other idiot that is now a boxer.
Let’s hope they learned their lesson and this time give out an exemplary punishment
That’s a lie. Every time it happens, they slap them on the wrist and sends them on their way.
Korea on the other hand locks them in prison while citizens rough them up.
Japan needs to stop letting “nuisance” folks get away with shit.
I defer to you I do not actually know you are correct. I do know how I heard that Japan’s cursive system involved execution and that is it. Traditionally. There was like the death penalty and that is it the fuedal in Japan, hard world.
As to the koreans, I worked at a place where there were Koreans and I would wave at them and they would snub me I asked someone and they told me the Koreans are very hierarchical and to not believe in acknowledging existence of those below them. Hold on
Meme Coin? Still working? The latest grift are ai-something, not the old crypto scams
AI can also do crypto now, if I ain’t mistaken.
There’s a reason why the rest of the world sneers at 'Murica
The dangerous trespassing incident specifically targeted a popular baby Japanese macaque named “Punch”
Okay, the headline out of context had me losing my mind lol
who recently captured the hearts of visitors for adorably hugging and carrying around plush toys.
Fucking pieces of shit.
I thought they were arrested for doing a move called a baby monkey punch that was terrifying at first.
At least there was no punching of baby monkeys involved so I’m slightly less outraged than expected
It’s a bad headline. It really needs a “Named” between “Monkey” and “Punch”.
Same lol, I was staring at the headline and the subtitle for a long time trying to parse together if there was a missing comma to figure out the context
