fuck I’m not in the right headspace when I’m asking this, unresolved trauma. Now I’m repeating in my head “love them more than my mental illnesses”.
I wanted to warn an organization i cared about my past and that manipulation comes naturally to me to the point where I don’t notice after the fact. I legit want see them succeeded and stand in blind solidarity.
I have reached out someone in the organization about my issues. I’m hoping they respond.
That’s really a question you need to answer for yourself but everyone has issues. The fact that you are self aware of them means you know when they happen and can do things to control it better.
I don’t think you need to introduce yourself with a warning, you deserve to have privacy and boundaries while you deal with your issues and heal, but if you feel safe enough with someone to open up to them, you can explain what you’re struggling with, and in normal casual relationships, you can use that self awareness to control your issues.
Nobody’s perfect, everyone has flaws, you’re clearly not a malicious person if you’re here asking this, you’re someone who is struggling with some issues. But you recognize those issues and want to deal with them, that’s a huge step a lot of people don’t even get to.
im malicious to people i think deserve it. I dont have to pegged as a gennerally malitious (was gonna say narcissist, but your no where close to that), id say you’re a generally mentally healthy person, few flaws I can tug at (it would be petty to tug at them). I tell IDF solider that I hate them that they’re awful human beings and i hope that i hurt them emotionally, i love making people that advocate war crimes realize theyre the villian and crash out, and i openly told my maga neighbor that zohran mamdani is doing a good job to mess with him an hour ago.
the issue is I’m basically predatory against societies worst.