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Evilphd666 [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net to Chapotraphouse@hexbear.netEnglish · 13 days ago

Increasingly Healthy Pope Asserts He Will Soon Be Strong Enough To Battle God

theonion.com

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Increasingly Healthy Pope Asserts He Will Soon Be Strong Enough To Battle God

theonion.com

Evilphd666 [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net to Chapotraphouse@hexbear.netEnglish · 13 days ago
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VATICAN CITY—In the latest sign that his health continues to improve, Pope Leo XIV declared Friday in an address to Catholics around the world that he would soon be strong enough to battle God. “To the faithful gathered here, thank you for your support, and know that I now feel better than ever before—so good, […]
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  • FunkyStuff [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    13 days ago

    The CIA gave him cancer but upon hearing about the plan for the coup to end all coups they’ve switched sides. Jesuits are in control (as always).

    • LocalAreaMan@lemmy.mlBanned from community
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      13 days ago

      Classic Kung Fu movie, apprentice turns on master.

  • aanes_appreciator [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    13 days ago

    patriots verified this post: TRUE

  • Maeve@kbin.earth
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    13 days ago

    https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis+32%3A22-31&version=JUB

  • narr1 [they/them]@hexbear.net
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    13 days ago

    Leo actually saw divinity in the LLM, but extrapolated humans thusly superior to god. It turned his breath cancerous, but now he is risen and will deliver us from this ultimate evil.

  • ChaosMaterialist [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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    12 days ago

    What in the Final Fantasy…?!

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