Occasionally I have these days where I don’t feel like doing work or chores. So I’m thinking, why not just enjoy myself, do something that interests me?
But then I don’t find any motivation to do anything really. Not even the things I normally enjoy very much.
Typically I would then waste time browsing or watching videos, but that seems to make it worse. How to snap out of this?
Just have to make it until after work and I can have a break
Just have to make it until the end of the week and I can rest for a couple of days
Just have to make it until the next holiday
Just have to make it
That’s a disturbing poem.
Yep that’s me
This was pretty much me in university and during the first years of my work. It just feels like endless postponing of actually doing the things you want. But it never comes.
I’m starting to wonder if I just have much less capacity (in terms of energy) than other people.
@Aurenkin oof that’s life, yep.
at some point I realized I’ll “make it” but it doesn’t get better, so …
so nothing, I guess.I’ve been through every selective neurotransmitter reuptake inhibitor, and they pull off the amazing feat of being habit-forming drugs that do not actually help one feel better.
What’s your experience with SSRIs? I never wanted to even try because I feel I would just get used to them after a while and then be stuck paying for medication without really feeling better.
@NationProtons Firstly, many SSRIs are pretty cheap, like a few bucks for a refill of a generic, even without insurance. But they all are difficult to “titrate up.” You’ll feel pretty bad the first week or three. Then, while symptoms of depression will abate, you’ll also have somewhat less positive affect. Then when you stop, you’ll have mood swings that will fuck with your life.
Some people find that the right SSRI or SNRI is really helpful. For me, most of them were frustrating dead ends.Yeah, this makes me feel like I don’t really want to go there. It’s frustrating, because it seems like when I follow the routine of a ‘normal’ person. I tend to get very tired and anxious over time. But If I want to find some routine more suited to myself, it will be practically impossible to survive.
For me going for a walk in nature is the best. Second best is exercise.
That definitely helps. I find it difficult to get myself to exercise sometimes, but walking is something I can enjoy.
Hi! Late to the party sorry.
I have gone through this, and similarly to what others say, I was able to pin point it to autism burnout. It’s a very steep climb out of the hole, and I wish you the best of luck.
Some things that have helped me in my journey:
- Whenever I am having a moment, using this site to figure out why and what I need: https://youfeellikeshit.com/index.html
- Therapy, specifically someone who is knowledgeable about autism and autism burnout
- Reading as much as I can about autism burnout and how it manifests (it can take months to years to dig yourself out)
- A good book, specifically around keeping house and chores, that has helped me a lot: How to Keep House While Drowning
- If you have the financial means, hiring help to take care of the things taking up space in your brain such as cleaning, food prep, and maybe even taking a leave for a while
Yeah, I think I’m in the digging out stage now. It seems to be very difficult for me to take care of myself while I have to work for income.
Thanks for the suggestions! I will look into the book, and the website is great (I made something like this myself in my linked notes)
Therapy seems to be a bit harder for me. I didn’t have anyone with specific experience, and found that the typical talk therapy does not really benefit me (I already spent years researching this myself, so it does not really help to have somebody else repeat it to me). I’ll try to find somebody, but seems like it’s quite difficult.
I have those periods. I think of them as autistic shutdowns. For me, they happen when I’ve been overwhelmed by too much stress, interruptions, demands, or sensory overload.
I think that’s the best way to describe it.
Have you found anything that works for you to rebound quickly?
I think it’s best to avoid them as much as possible. What I have done is keep a log of what sends me into them so that I can be aware and limit my exposure to these triggers. For me, it’s sensory overload, socializing, and stress. Basically, my brain has a certain amount of mental energy it can dedicate to processing, and when that runs out, I hit shutdown.
Given that, what seems to help with recovery is:
- Quiet time
- A dark, cool setting
- Repetitive mindless tasks. For example, mining in Minecraft or looking at memes
- Listening to or watching something I’ve seen/heard many times before
- Sleep
- Time with calm and quiet people
- If the shutdown is triggered by social issues, then time with someone validating that could help develop a plan.
How do you find a cool spot and quiet time when at work?
I find this very difficult to achieve in an office environment. Although I definitely need it.
Just the though of somebody asking me why I’m sitting somewhere separately makes me uncomfortable. So I tend to avoid taking these kind of breaks. I know, sounds stupid. But I feel so uncomfortable if I’m thinking about how other people will interpret it.
I used to go to the bathroom. We had single stalls. You could also go somewhere quiet for lunch, or hang out in your car if that’s an option.
What do you do then though?
I find myself getting even more tired if i spend that time on my phone for example.
At that point, maybe start considering talking to your supervisor, applying for disability accommodations, or changing jobs. You gotta take care of you. If that’s not working, everything else goes bad too.
I just girlrot til it’s over. Can’t force motivation. Best thing is to learn what stuff over depleted it and plan around that for the future.
I got nothing to add to the comments already written but wanted to say “thanks for sharing”, 'cause I’m in this mood now for weeks. It’s like I’m waiting for something to happen without knowing what this something is. Luckily I’m going on holidays a few weeks from now. So: Thank you for sharing.
Hope you will feel better soon. It sucks if it lasts for weeks. And it can be so difficult to get out of it.
Lately I’ve started forcing myself to do nothing during those moments, like literally nothing. I set a timer for an hour and then turn off my phone and computer and lay down or just sit and kind of stare at a wall.
The boredom is horrible but the good news is that by the end of the hour, usually my mind has come up with a few things it would rather do than nothing.
Also, sometimes I can’t make it the full hour doing nothing but I only let myself do productive/healthy things like reading or doing dishes. It’s not really enjoyable but by the end of the hour it does feel slightly good that I was slightly productive.
Idk if it’ll work for you and idk if I’ll be able to keep doing it, but maybe it’s worth a shot. Tell me how it goes if you try it lol.
I have days like this.
I’ve discovered that I have an easy time doing things I kinda enjoy but not very much (video games, reddit), but I avoid things I really love (playing music, traveling, cooking).
Yeah, I also tend to postpone things that I love during these moments, possibly because I feel like I would not enjoy them fully.
I just think deep down a part of me think I don’t think I deserve real joy
Yeah, I feel you. How would you even counter this kind of feeling. Like everytime you are happy, you wouldn’t even allow yourself to really enjoy it. Because you feel like you don’t deserve it.
Is somebody ever completely demotivated with everything?
Yep, that’s called depression.
How do you deal with it?
Medication. Time. Continued effort. IMO, success in life isn’t measured by completion. It’s measured by getting back up after you fall. Amount of progress isn’t the most important thing. Any progress, at all, is infinitely better than none.
Occasionally I have these days where I don’t feel like doing work or chores. So I’m thinking, why not just enjoy myself, do something that interests me?
Yep, have those all the time. I wait for them to pass and then when my energy comes back, I do all the things. It’s frustrating because I’m waiting on some unknown energy to decide to make my brain work today.
Typically I would then waste time browsing or watching videos, but that seems to make it worse. How to snap out of this?
Yep. Same feeling. I like a few videos here and there, mostly sciency ones, but when I start mindless scrolling, it makes me feel worse and I stop. I usually do something light activity, small task, to get the ball rolling. Clean for 5 minutes. Only 5. Set a timer. I can stop after that. If I want, I can keep going, but stopping is fine.
At some point, I even anticipated wasting too much time browsing or playing games. So I uninstalled steam and blocked websites like reddit and youtube.
I ended up just reading wikipedia articles for 4 hours straight. I always seem to find something to distract myself…
For me it seems to be more difficult to get out of this, Even if I can get myself to do some chores, or go outside for 5 minutes. But it’s definitely already better now than in the past.
Light depression can be caused by a lot of things, and doesn’t mean you have clinical depression. Things that work for me:
- Be more active. No, I dont mean you have to go kill yourself working out. Just go for a short walk.
- Disconnect from media and technology. If you use social media, get away from it for 24 hours. People don’t talk about it enough but it’s literally engineered to give you constant dopamine so you get addicted to it. Overall if you’re in front of a computer all day, just get away from it and go make a trip. Even just to get groceries.
- Sleep. The one everyone loves making memes about. Truthfully though if your sleep schedule is super fucked, it can be a big problem causer. Not sure that’s a word. You get me though.
Good luck friend. I’ve been there several times. Nothing sucks more than not knowing what to do to make yourself happy.
Walking definitely does help me. And my sleep is fine as far as I can tell. Disconnecting is an issue though, I feel like all my hobbies are related to using the computer and I work as a software engineer, so very difficult to avoid being exposed to / reminded of online media and such.
Still didn’t find a good solution for this. But I do notice that If I meditate regularly, it’s easier to avoid spending all day on my computer.
If walking is easier than cutting screen time maybe try a walking pad or under desk treadmill. May need a monitor arm if you can afford it, but it’ll help to be more active. At the end of the day these are just suggestions. Burn out is real and can easily be an explanation as well. Happened to me when I was WFH and basically at the computer for 12+ hours a day.
I feel like WFH actually helps me because I have more control over my time and can actually take breaks instead of having to pretend to be busy all the time. But in reality, I did spend much more time just in front of my desk and forcing myself to look at my screen, even though I’m not doing anything useful at the moment.
Often I was working, having meetings and eating, all at my desk. And then in the evening, I keep sitting at my desk and just start browsing or gaming. After a while, it’s no wonder one becomes depressed.
For some reason I feel it’s unfair though. Like why do I need to spend my free time meditating, doing sports, and maintaining my physical and mental wellbeing, just to be able to keep working for 8 hours a day? Isn’t it enough that they already get 8 hours? Even worse for people that used to commute for multiple hours each day in the past.
I found this condition while trying to understand how I often feel. Anhedonia wikipedia link
Yeah, that describes it pretty well. And probably also Avolition
