Summary
Donald Trump’s re-election has fueled a surge in misogynistic, homophobic, and racist rhetoric among young men, reportedly emboldened by the president-elect’s history of inflammatory remarks about women.
In schools, boys have been caught using phrases like “your body, my choice” against female peers, prompting districts like Minnesota’s Hopkins Public Schools to issue warnings to parents about harassment.
The impact extends beyond schools, with activists on Texas State University’s campus displaying signs asserting that “women are property.”
This hostile climate has left many women feeling unsafe as a new far-right administration takes power.
When I have gone through this thought process lately, I’ve concluded that even if I plan my life in the most cold robotic way possible, my mental health and general well-being are at their best when I am compassionate towards those around me.
So first you must ask yourself what your true goal is. Do you want to “win” some shallow materialistic version of life? Or do you want to help others, or just be happy regardless of what it takes? Then that helps inform later decisions.
My automatic assumption has always been that saving everything, retiring early, and being a recluse was my path to a happy existence. It’s just what I felt I wanted to do. I bet I’m not alone there.
But then I had the great luck to have COVID come around and fuck up my career and finances in a few different ways. Now I’m stable again at work and my finances are a disaster, but I’ve waded through so much shit mentally that even though big retirement account balances feel great, that’s not what creates real joy, contentment, and even optimism.
…In my brain anyway. It’s like we all have slightly different owners manuals but we don’t get a copy of it and have to reverse-engineer it. In my case I had some things I cared about a lot get torn away, but I still had my family, and I realized that without that stuff that got taken away I was still the same person and was just fine. That definitely flipped a switch or two. Well, that and a grueling couple years dialing in medications, lol. Anything that helps!
I do understand what you’re saying. But at the same time, the foundation of the premise you’re presenting begs the question “do I still consider this society worth saving”? And quite frankly, I can no longer give an unambiguous “yes” to that question. THAT is what I mean when I say the result of this election has made my sense of misanthropy spin wildly out of control.
Oh yeah I get that. The disbelief and disappointment are off the charts for me.
But to continue my train of thought, what’s worked well for my mental state is to give myself permission to focus on the small scale and those close to me rather than (justifiably) dwelling on the fucked up state of society at large.
So instead of worrying about whether society is worth saving, I worry about whether my own sanity is worth saving, and by extension whether it is worth trying to have a happy and fulfilling life. And that’s not just being selfish. It’s equivalent to putting on your own oxygen mask on an airplane before you help others. With my head on straight, I can help improve the lives of those around me, and that is not only worth it but feeds back into making my own life and mental state better.
And from time to time I also like to remind myself about how insane it is that we even exist, that clouds of matter formed billions of years ago in supernovae were able to coalesce and form self-aware brains. It just makes me more interested in learning about existence and the universe.
And when I point that attitude towards the fucked up things in society and the world, it certainly doesn’t make those things better. I think about how I am watching significant history being written, and I can at least be an engaged witness even if I can’t change the course of that history. Though I do try where I can, and of course vote accordingly.
That’s a really healthy and rational way to unpack the situation. I’ll have to give it some more thought. For what it’s worth, thank you for sharing that.
I appreciate the reply. Thanks for the discussion!