Today at work I was flipping some burgers as usual when a coworker yelled out to me “how to spell occupation” for some reason. She shouldn’t have even been on her phone and I don’t know why she asked me of all people to spell ‘occupation’ and why she needed to use that word in the first place is beyond me but that’s not important.
I tried to sound it out I just didn’t know how to spell it. There were like a bunch of other people they were all watching. I just broke down in tears then and there and ran to the bathroom. It was so embarrassing. I left like 3 hours early as I just couldn’t take being there anymore. I can’t stop thinking about it. I made myself look so stupid in front of everyone. I know I have to go back there soon but I can’t handle the humiliation and + I’m going to be in trouble with the boss for leaving early. I really don’t know what to do.
Update: I told my boss that somebody asked how to spell something and I didn’t know how to so I got emotional and left. He was understanding but told me never to do it again. Seems like everything is ok, right? Well, he asked me who was on her phone and I told him so now I think that girl got into trouble and now my coworkers are mad at me for being a snitch. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I honestly mean no offense when I say this and I hope you don’t take it wrong but you need to be seeing a therapist for your anxiety. This is nothing to be ashamed of and talking to someone trained to handle it will help you overcome it.
I was able to grow out of it but it took me decades to find myself and be comfortable with who I am. If I could go back I would have been on a regular schedule to talk to someone about my insecurities. Who knows the opportunities I lost because I was scared or embarrassed. Many of my regrets are from missed opportunities that in hindsight where caused by my anxiety.
You are not alone.