I honestly feel bad posting here again, I feel like a burden. It’s just me struggling… so feel free to skip this post and look at more interesting things

the past two months have been much tougher for me than usual, and when I am not doing well, my capacity to interact with other people is pretty close to zero. I feel a very strong desire to be alone. Having other people notice that I am not well is pretty much the worst thing - I can’t talk about what’s wrong, and every time I tried my best expressing myself it didn’t help. All I really get is advice that does not work for me. So I usually try to pretend I am okay, but at a certain point I can’t even really do that anymore.

problem is I’m not living alone. I’ve skipped quite a number of meals in the past week because I don’t want to get into conversations that I don’t want to have. I feel like it would be disastrous unmasked, that’s why I go this far just to avoid interaction. both of my roommates judge me for spending so much time in my room and I think they tell me to get out every time they see me. I never know how to react to that. Being open about my mental health isn’t a good idea - it will end up in them giving me advice that might work for neurotypical, and then they’d blame me if I don’t follow their advice. They already kind of do that. I’ve told one of them about my diagnosis but I don’t really think that has no meaning for him.

I feel pathetic skipping dinner anything because I want to avoid social interactions. But in all honesty, I still think it is not worth the stress.

  • nichtsowichtig@feddit.deOP
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    2
    ·
    1 year ago

    it is viscous and it affects pretty much everything I do. The people I live with aren’t really able to understand my condition, so I can’t expect to work out something that works well for me. I’ll move somewhere else when I have the time, energy and opportunity to do so, but until then I’ll just make do. I don’t want to work on the foundation of a house I don’t care that much about. And I’ll just use buckets for now if the roof is leaking and look for another roof to live under.