- cross-posted to:
- memes@lemmy.world
- cross-posted to:
- memes@lemmy.world
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Online dating has worked well for me but it requires some really strong mental barriers so you dont get overwhelmed. Most apps have some sort of ‘you got liked by X’ counter which feels really degrading and destroyes your self esteemed as a guy if youre not confident. Inversely, as a woman you get so many likes you drown in a swamp with 0 ineresting things, like a never ending tide.
And bios are just … The worst. I Am really fucking tempted to write ‘if your primarily sexual characteristics are what you are most proud of of yourself, you need to think up a new personality’
I categorically dont like anyone who looks like my countries typical beauty standard and/or has no bio/is not interested in conveying their personality…
Any like I give a girl who is ‘standard beautiful’ just fades into the white noise and is a waste of time.
To be clear, I Am not saying everyone in the beauty standard has no personality; but its more likely that such a person does not need to use their brain to get what they want. All the Better if they do, but it sure Doesn’t look that way if you get showered with attention when you got an empty bio…
Subjective and for sure flawed rant is over
The most insane thing is how common that is.
There are 3 other types that makes me feel stuff.
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Bio: “I am a foodie and like to travel” there is no way that someone is that boring. Fuck, I am a it nerd, I am boring but I know more interesting stuff to say about me.
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It is often plus sized women, but people whose profile screams that they have no confidence. When with 1., I feel even worse bad. Like girls, you are so much better than you present yourself. Honestly with that mental don’t be there, heal first. We are all amazing in our way, you just need to sell yourself properly.
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As I lived in Singapore for a while, I have something else, women from neighboring countries setting their position to SG and trying to flirt with a white person (with his language skills listed) while not really knowing English at all. I get why but girl, I can’t love you if we can’t understand each other, you don’t want me to choose you if we don’t understand each other. For context, SG average yearly salary: 55k€, Malaysian average yearly salary: 16k€, Indonesian average yearly salary: 4,5k€. In their mind, a Singaporean is rich, and a white person in sg has higher education and a well paid job in SG. The dream of a white knight…
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Hey, at least you didn’t have to waste time finding out those red flags yourself!
Online dating is great for hook ups, but joining in person hobby groups is better for making friends that might turn into something more.
Say that to my wife
I’m not saying it can’t work, I just see a lot of lonely people wondering why the apps don’t work for them yet try nothing else.
Fair, it is rare
In my personal experience, I found meeting people in person a far more fruitful dating method than online dating. I was fairly successful in both. I’m not particularly attractive but I’m rather charismatic and I found online dating resulting in a lot more flubs than meeting someone with the intent of simply making a new friend based on shared interests and finding something more growing from that. The online dating did give me a lot of fun dates and sexual experiences, though.
But perhaps take it all with a grain of salt because I ended up with an old friend from high school when we moved in together to save money on rent.
I’m awkward and conventionally attractive, so online dating was better for me, because it allows me to make a connection with someone while I have time to think about my words.
Anyone I know that had success with apps, it was eHarmony. Mostly because it costs money and takes work to make a profile, already filtering out so much just from those two steps alone. But the work that it takes to make a profile also helps to actually find who you want to find, and for them to find you.
You have to actually know what you are looking for though, and ideally why.
Mine was OkCupid, but I know my results aren’t common.
