I don’t know how to do it. I am so terrified of dying that I haven’t been able to sleep well for a very long time. Everything I do seems shallow and hollow - so how does everyone just keep on moving forward, keep setting goals, keep making progress?
I don’t know how to do it. I am so terrified of dying that I haven’t been able to sleep well for a very long time. Everything I do seems shallow and hollow - so how does everyone just keep on moving forward, keep setting goals, keep making progress?
Dying isn’t scary. You fade out into a deeply comfortable darkness of nothing where life stuff all feels very far away and increasingly unimportant and the peaceful emptiness of nonexistence is the final thing you know.
I’ve nearly died a few times now. If anything I’m more annoyed at being brought back than anything else, at least if I had died I wouldn’t have had to deal with the men strangling me or how shit my life and the world we all live in is.
The world is shallow and hollow. Humans are mostly awful and all the systems and industry we have created for ourselves are corrupt and fuelled by greed and cruelty. We are so shit as a species we’re literally ending all life on earth with our pollution and inability to be kind to each other and the natural world around us.
Once the ice caps melt, the Blue Ocean Event will happen and the earth cooks in its own fumes as the oceans release shit tons of methane and then evaporate. A few more years as hot as 2023 and the ice caps could be melted as soon as 2027.
What keeps me going is that I’m too lazy to kill myself. Humanity is going to be wiped out by our own hand in the next century anyway, so provided you don’t procreate, I think you’re ok to indulge yourself in things you enjoy to try to make the rest of your existence as comfortable as possible.
It’s hopeless isn’t it? We complain about destroying the planet and being a horrible species, but both you and I are part of the problem.
Indulgence is selfish and being selfish is the reason humans have gotten to this point. But everyone’s going to be selfish, so why shouldn’t I be? There’s no hope of the world recovering. Might as well have a metaphorical doomsday party.
I hope I can have a peaceful death. One without horrible pain and fear leading up to it. Killing myself seems like the best way for that. Instead of dying slowly from disease, I can shoot myself and be gone before the pain starts. But again, the fear of death is so horrible… No matter how much I think about the fact that it’s just nothingness, it’s still terrifying. Before I was born I experienced nothingness, and it was fine. Returning to nothingness would be fine. But I’m so scared despite that
Sorry that you’ve been through so much