This thought has been bugging me for the past few months. Out of my ~15 partners, only 4 would I describe as “conventionally attractive,” and all of those were decidedly fem (1 cis f, 2 tf, 1 sissy), and they were all bottoms. I (32tf) can’t and don’t want to top.
I consider myself pan and I say I like men, but in practice I only like soft and androgynous types. Fem tops are unicorns, and I seem to only be able to maintain relationships for ~6 months at most. My last relationship with a man was such a disaster that I’m tempted to swing the other way, except I don’t want to be an ace side or whatever terms people use to justify what amount to platonic relationships. I’m also too busy to really care about anyone right now. How do other transfems navigate this kind of sexual/romantic difficulty?
hugs Congratulations on surgery and I wish you a speedy recovery. I wish more people saw penises as accessories rather than tools. I love dicks and I don’t require them to perform for me, but that terrible expectation contaminates so many otherwise-enlightened relationships. Pre-transition I dated a girl who asked me to fuck her vaginally on the first date because of apparent expectations, but we found out later that neither of us actually wanted to do that. It would be liberating to be with someone who can keep outside expectations on the other side of the door. You have a lot of wisdom that I’m sure you paid heavily for. You’re good people. <3