• 14 Posts
  • 108 Comments
Joined 5 months ago
Cake day: April 1st, 2026
  • Nissa@lemmy.worldtoTransfem@lemmy.blahaj.zone•does anyone know how to socialize in bars?English
    6·
    1 month ago

    Do you enjoy reading? In my youth i would often go to bars and just sit at the bar reading a book. You’d be surprised the number of people would strike up a conversation about whatever I was reading. We would typically chat for a bit and when they were done I’d go back to reading. Sometimes people would invite me to join them or when they were leaving invite me to wherever they were going next, whether it was another bar for a show or back to their place to play some magic the gathering. You aren’t obligated to join them, but don’t hold back if they make you feel comfortable. There is probably a place in your area that is lgbtq+ friendly and would be a great place to start.

    Another option is to learn to play pool. There are several bars i know that have a pool table or two and if you comment on the game they will likely invite you to play next. Pool players always want new people to play with.

    Hope that helps

    ♡♡♡Nissa♡♡♡

  • Nissa@lemmy.worldtoTransfem@lemmy.blahaj.zone•I just dont know anymoreEnglish
    13·
    1 month ago

    Your feeling are completely normal, alot of us go through the same thing. I’m going through something similar myself. Constantly questioning if I’m Trans, questioning if I just gaslit myself. But I always come back to the same conclusion:

    If I were 100% cis, would I be questioning it at all? Would I have ever come here and asked the question? Would I have a story to share?

    When I first reached> out I was told “there is no wrong way to be trans”. I remind myself of this all the time. I don’t have to have dysphoria to be Trans, but because being fem brings me joy I’m allowed to lean into it. It doesn’t have to be all the time, I don’t have to come out entirely, I don’t have to start HRT or voice training. I just follow the joy.

    I do not have a female form and it bugged me alot when trying out fem clothing. This article really helped:

    https://margaretkilljoy.substack.com/p/brick-pride

    Your feeling are completely normal, alot of us go through the same thing. I’m going through something similar myself. Constantly questioning if I’m Trans, questioning if I just gaslit myself. But I always come back to the same conclusion:

    If I were 100% cis, would I be questioning it at all? Would I have ever come here and asked the question? Would I have a story to share?

    When I first reaches out I was told “there is no wrong way to be trans”. I remind myself of this all the time.

    No one can make this decision for you, but we will be here for you regardless. This community is all about love and support. It’s all I’ve ever received, and all I give out. Just follow the joy, see where it leads, that’s all that matters.

    ♡♡♡Nissa♡♡♡

  • Nissa@lemmy.worldtoTransfem@lemmy.blahaj.zone•Advice on how to deal with brain goblins?English
    4·
    2 months ago

    I struggle with this constantly. I really don’t have the dysphoria but I feel so much happier in girlmode. I question it alot, often wonder if I brainwashed myself somehow. But I try to remind myself I’ve felt this way for a long time.

    I have often told others I believe we are all on a sliding gender and sexuality scale, and I’m pretty 50-50 male-female.I’m identifying as bigender for this reason, it’s also just easier to be honest. I don’t know, maybe I accept the male side because I’m used to it, because I don’t absolutely hate my meat suit. But then again, I’m super happy in girl mode and the more I see all the beautiful woman here and the before and after the more I wonder what I would look like. My mother obvi but still

    I’m only out to my wife and a couple of friends, and can’t currently girlmode at all because of my living situation. Definitely not ready to leave the house, but I’ve picked out an outfit for exactly that occasion.

    I say all this to let you know you’re not alone. It is normal to struggle and question. Just remember, would you have come here and asked the questions if it wasn’t real? Why would you choose the difficult and potentially dangerous path if it wasn’t real?

    ♡♡♡Nissa♡♡♡

  • Nissa@lemmy.worldtoTransfem@lemmy.blahaj.zone•Feeling conflicted (skirts)English
    10·
    4 months ago

    Thank you for sharing, you have come to the right place! Skirts and dresses definitely feel more exposed than pants for sure. You are so used to that extra fabric right up against your back side. Now the air can freely flow, it almost feels like you’re naked. There is definitely a learning curve to it, and if you like the way you look you’ll get used to it.

    I felt the same way when I donned my first skirt, but as soon as I looked in the mirror I stopped caring. Now it’s all about not accidentally flashing people (just my wife for now but still). Learning to fold my skirt underneath me when sitting was step one. Learning to bend at the knees, legs together, back straight was step two. If there’s a step three, I haven’t learned it yet.

    That being said, you don’t have to wear skirts or dresses to be feminine. There are tons of options, what’s right for me doesn’t have to be what’s right for you. My wife is a horse girl, all jeans or sweats, tee shirts, hoodies. Doesn’t like jewelry, doesn’t do makeup. I’m the girly one in our relationship and that’s fine. Do what makes you happy, your happiness is all that matters.

    Feel free to drop by anytime. We will be here, excited to hear how things are going and to answer any questions you may have!