Sometimes I put Bob’s Burgers on the TV for them

I’m an on call mortician. I spend a lot of time walking around funeral homes at night in the dark. I heard shit moving around and weird crashing noises all the time. I fuckin ignore that shit. Oh, what? The demon wants attention again, so I have to take my earbuds out? Nah. Not tonight Satan. I’m really into this audio book.

I’m a mortician and all we have been talking about is how shit of a job they did. We call those pancake hands because they’re flat. They’re also hovering, which is why they look so unnatural. They didn’t use any dye, which is why he’s that horrible color. It’s called formaldehyde gray. I guess maybe dye is left out for some religious reason? But there is absolutely no excuse for those hands.

We all assume it was done by some old guy who only does embalmings once every 10 years, or however often a Pope is dying.

Everyone on lemmy.world is a bot but you

Thank you! I’m excited to be able to say the word Luigi as many times as I want!