• 8 Posts
  • 86 Comments
Joined 3 years ago
cake
Cake day: June 12th, 2023

help-circle


  • I recently went to the movies with my father and brother.

    A few years ago, I was formally diagnosed with ASD, and I’ve long suspected my brother might also be on the spectrum. He’s far more sensitive than I am. In fact, he recently quit his job at a factory because of it. But my family refuses to even consider the possibility that he might have autism.

    During the movie, he looked like he was in agony: hands over his ears, rocking, clearly distressed. Later, I mentioned this to my father, who revealed he’s been taking my brother to expensive medical clinics abroad (including the Mayo clinic). They’ve diagnosed him with a “neurological hypersensitivity disorder” and want to run costly scans and medicate him. I suggested a simpler, more likely explanation: autism. After all, I was formally diagnosed with it by CAMH (Canadian association of mental health), and my brother is even less social than I am, struggles with sensory issues, and tends to hyperfixate. Instead of spending tens of thousands at this clinic, why not explore this first?

    My father claimed he didn’t know or had forgotten about my diagnosis. That’s hard to believe. He wanted nothing to do with my assessment process, but I talked about it nonstop for months before and after. How could he forget?

    I could suggest all of this to my brother, but he’s never taken me seriously. We don’t really talk much outside of family events. In high school, he was already programming, building apps in C, and even the chess club champion. He got into a great university only to burn out and drop out. Meanwhile, I was the barely passing theater kid who later went into game development (and, for the record, I’m doing great career-wise). But to him, I’ve always been the “dumb one,” and his ego won’t let him listen.

    At this point, I think the best option is to let it go. It’s not my diagnosis, not my money being spent, not my time being wasted. But watching this unfold is crazy to me. Get the man some loops!











  • As a kid pre internet times I’d take my talk boy (the cassette recorder thing from home alone) and record the soundtracks as they came out of the TV. I’d have to ask my brothers to get to certain parts of the game so I could get that track. The quality was garbage but I could listen to Chrono trigger on the school bus. I’d just have to use imagination to hear as a symphony. No lyrics no playlist but that’s about as good as I could get.











  • Every choice we make has an impact on the world around us. Sometimes that impact is very small, but it is still real. For example, we live on a planet with a limited amount of clean drinking water. This can make me wonder if using a service like ChatGPT uses resources that contribute, in even a tiny way, to water shortages in the future.

    I also think about the things I buy. If I wear a T-shirt made in Malaysia, does that support unsafe working conditions or child labour? If someone is harmed in a factory that makes these clothes, do my purchases make me partly responsible?

    These thoughts lead to a difficult question: if I am responsible for even a small part of many harms, such as being 0.001 percent responsible for the deaths of 1000 people through many small everyday actions, does that mean I have caused a death simply by living my life?

    I wonder if it’s my autism that makes me consider these things because to me it seems no one else does.