It’s definitely like this. I don’t entirely mind it for myself, because it reminds me to log off before I can get into a doomscroll where I’m assailed by my family member’s awful opinions. I only use FB for marketplace/buy nothing groups, and the barrage of shitty ads/promo posts helps me log off as soon as I’ve found what I need (or have given up on finding what I need).

NO STRAWS NO STRAWS NO STRAWS NO STRAWS

The dentist will probably tell you everything you need to know, but after having spoken to someone who had 3 dry sockets due to using straws after removing her wisdom teeth, it feels like the most important point to drill in.

My partner had a lot of soylent, fruit/veg juice, soup, apple sauce after the procedure. Get some ice cream or a shake (WITH A SPOON) afterwards if you’re not nauseous - you deserve a treat. Apparently the weird ice from Sonic is really good when you get a tooth out, I’ve never had it lol. Good luck on your procedure, and don’t delay it!! Just get it over with so you never have to think about it again. You’re gonna be fine 💖

I’m not mute, but to me, using “dumb” to describe someone who is mute sounds… worse? It feels like the equivalent of recognizing that “crazy” has baggage and not using it in everyday speech, but continuing to use it to describe mentally ill people. I understand that it’s not a perfect comparison, but it feels like sometimes, words become too enmeshed in their modern-day insulting uses to feel okay using them to describe a community, even if it is the technical definition of the word.

If anyone who is mute/nonverbal/nonspeaking sees this and I’m wrong - please let me know!! I don’t mean to overstep, I just want to share my perspective.

Totally agreed. I’m Ukrainian and nothing gets me as heated watching any movie as Russian villains (almost always played by non-Russian-speaking actors). Hollywood looooves movie villains that reflect the government’s Big Bad Wolves and it’s just disgusting to me. Beyond the obvious facts that xenophobia is bad and using the film industry to stoke the fires of the US’s international feuds is bad, it just fucking hurts the way it feels like people put on costumes to approximate my dad’s appearance and voice because it’s the most basic shorthand for “evil” they can think of.

That’s fair. Are you in a place where everybody knows each other? If your parents aren’t really likely to hear it from anywhere else, you can also come out to other people, like at school or in your social circles, without necessarily having to come out to your family.

Yay!! Welcome to the family new haj!!

Get some rest! Hopefully when you come back the mental load is lighter and things work out, but at the end of the day, none of this is more important than your health and well-being.

I get what you mean, but I disagree. As a teen, I thought I had an obligation to come out to everyone, and make a whole big announcement. It was a huge relief to hear that actually, I don’t owe anyone information that would be exhausting to share and could make my life harder. It was my choice, and no one else’s, and there was no timeline I had to follow.

Exactly this! I pick and choose who knows based on how comfy I am around someone. Like you, I’m bi in a “straight-passing” relationship, so many people aren’t aware; my dad will probably never know unless I date a girl, or he finds out in some random way, but I just don’t really care to share that part of my life with him. The older I get, the less effort I make to keep anything a secret. But I don’t make a strong conscious effort to come out to people if I don’t feel like it.

Hot take, but you don’t actually have to come out if you don’t feel like it. Or, you can come out in another way - for example, when the time comes, be like “hey, I have a [boy/girl/whatever applicable term]friend and I want you to meet them.” If you still want to be out but don’t feel like it right now, maybe wait a little bit and then come out to the people you’re most sure will respond well.

Good luck with your journey and I hope it goes better next time. Just remember to listen to your needs and not push yourself out of any sense of obligation.

Cucumber because I love cucumbers and zucchini doesn’t bring me that much joy

Not parents but I just accidentally came out as an NB person (also adult) to my brother yesterday. He had a hard time with me coming out as bi, which confused me, but it’s been nearly a decade since then. I told him I wanted to change my name and he was very confused; I mentioned I wanted something gender-neutral, and he asked if I was nonbinary.

I think he was skeptical, and surprised - he’d lived with me since I was a child, surely if I wasn’t cis, he would’ve known, right? But his partner helped him to approach it with an open mind and to be supportive. Overall, it was way easier and more inconsequential than I thought; at the same time, I’m thrilled to be able to talk about my life authentically, with him and around him, and not worry about every word.

If you want my advice on difficult conversations like this? If it’s safe, do it during a long car ride. It’s a situation where the other person really has to sit with what you’re saying and work through it. Obviously it can cut both ways - they’re stuck with you, but you’re also stuck with them - but in my experience, it’s been great.

Yay!! Lost has become a pretty underrated show, it always makes me happy when people are still watching and talking about it ♥

Tail to head for my beautiful boy 😊

For sure. There are so many examples of shitty depictions of trans people from that time, but for some reason, the one that specifically really stuck with me was the movie Click - probably because it was one of the only depictions of FtM people I’d seen in media, like, ever, at the time. It reinforced the idea that if I was trans, that would be a horrible thing, and I could never let anybody know.

I’m so glad that things are so completely different now; the depictions of trans people in media now are so varied and there are many really positive ones, and it’s really lovely to see the trans pride flag out and about. Being a transphobe is popular among shitheads, but it’s much more uncool than back then; if you’re openly a transphobe nowadays, most people probably hate dealing with you.

Thank you!! That’s very validating to hear 😊

The Princess Bride is as wonderful a book as it is a movie! You’re gonna love it 😊

I’m gonna be cleaning my apartment because we’re finally getting a couch!! And I need to get the place in order so it’s easy to maneuver it in. We’ve lived in our place for a few months already but still in box city… so it’s nice to have something to force me to unpack and make it look presentable.

Another thing that came to mind just now - while there are often organizations and government resources for homeless people, they might not always have access to them. Trying to get a psychiatrist who takes Medicaid took me 2 entire days of phone calls to find even one who would accept a new patient, and then another 2 months’ wait to get seen. I’ve also heard from people in my last city that they wouldn’t stay in shelters because they’re too unsafe and they’d rather risk sleeping outside in the cold. So, when you wonder if it might’ve been better to donate to an organization, well, maybe, but there will always be limits to how many people they can serve and there will always be people falling through the cracks who need help. Just some more food for thought.

1. Head empty
2. I think these feelings are normal… kind of. They are normal in the sense of, you did something that contradicts what you were taught your whole life. They are also normal because you’re trying to weigh the pros and cons of a complicated issue that has no one-size-fits-all answer because every individual human is different. I can somewhat but not completely relate to these feelings, because I’ve lived in areas with very large homeless populations my whole life, so I don’t really analyze it too much, but I get how it’s different for a new experience.
3. If you can do it, I say do it. No matter what they choose to spend it on, they need money to eat and have water and eventually have somewhere to stay. Making money when you don’t have a job or an address or savings is nearly impossible; saving up, or amassing things to make life easier, are both also extremely difficult, since you can lose everything at any moment. So, yes, the person may choose to use that money in a way that hurts them… IMO that’s their decision to grapple with. I just know that, without any resources, they will likely be in a worse position regardless.

I also think that anyone living in that kind of situation would really appreciate kindness and dignity, which are both sorely lacking in how most people react to a homeless person asking them for help. So, even if you can’t help financially, recognizing your fellow human being is a start, miles above “look away and move on”.

Don’t feel bad for giving someone who needs money some money. Don’t beat yourself up for being unsure how to proceed. Just try to be compassionate; asking these questions is definitely a move forward, IMO.

Definitely feel it on the suppression front. I remember “figuring it out” when I was around 12, when I’d first heard of being trans, and knowing that that was me, and that I needed to shove it down as deep as possible because of what everyone said about trans people. I didn’t really start coming out as nb until I was maybe 24, and now it’s just amazing to live in a new place with new people who all know me as I really am. I’m so much happier now 🥺

I know it’s not the case everywhere, but I also am so amazed at how different things are for kids/teens nowadays. I felt like a freak that had to hide forever so no one could learn my horrible secret. Now, there are people I knew as babies who are out, and their friends celebrate them so authentically. Being out in high school was unimaginable to me; it’s really beautiful to see that things are so different. Things are getting better socially (even if politically they’re still a dumpster fire), and it gives me hope for the future.