record scratch “yup, that’s me. You’re probably wondering how I got into this mess”

The fuck is a rat fink?

Same energy

Everyday we tokyo drift further from god

Rupert Murdoch is proof that being an evil son of a removed makes you practically immortal

Why do our drones keep crashing into synagogues?

“I swear to God, I left my car for like 5 minutes and it crashed through a synagogue by itself”

Ah fuck it, why not both

Can’t be worse than the children probably molested

France has the opportunity to do the funniest thing ever

Quite literally, his house is a giant trash can

Yeah, getting off facebook was probably the best thing for my mental health

Ah, thanks for clarifying, if you can’t tell I’m not particularly tech savvy

Tarrifs

If you are an island inhabited by penguins, believe or not, tarrifs

Why the fuck are my tax dollars being sent to these assholes again?

Look, as long as they’re not right in front of me slowing me down, there won’t be a problem, I either got shit to do or I really have to use the bathroom in those instances

Funny thing is, I’m pretty sure I used an encrypted email to make my last account

Yeah, but it’s not his problem until it affects him or his family.