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Joined 3 years ago
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Cake day: July 1st, 2023

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  • Mainly through experience. I also keep a diary where I mainly track my mood and energy levels and what I did each day. That way I can look back on it and see trends. By now I know for example that doctor’s appointments are comparatively stressful for me, because I often crash afterwards. Then I adjust the expected stress level by how I feel each day (the most difficult part is figuring that out, but I’m also trying to get better at that) to anticipate how much energy it will cost me, than change my plans if neccessary.


  • Having a physical planner and writing in it using only pencil helps me a lot to budget energy. I plan out all energy consuming activities ahead for each week. I plan to do 5 stressful tasks each day, but what counts as stressful changes constantly, which is why I write in pencil. If I don’t have the energy for something on one day I will erase and reschedule it and write something less demanding as a task, otherwise I always have to do what’s on the list. I am not allowed to do more than 5 stressful things even on a good day, because then I usually overwork myself, and I have to plan in recovery time after an especially demanding day. Also, I break down big tasks beforehand, so I can be as specific as possible with my task setting (Goblintools can help with that). I use a physical planner because it gets me off of my phone and because I can remember stuff better when I write it down by hand, and I use pencil so I don’t have to cross out unfinished tasks and be reminded of “failing” when looking back.

    So yeah, TLDR: an analog planner with strict rules on how to budget energy and some flexibility to acommodate fluctuating energy levels





  • When I have that moment of realizing how long it’s been and the guilt rushes in, I try to take a step back from the feeling and ask myself: how important is this relationship to me? Is it worth being uncomfortable for a little bit? And if the answer is yes, I text them immediately before I forget again. Because it’s always better to reach out late than never. And most of my friends understand by now anyways, because I have talked about my difficulties regarding this with them before.

    But for trying to stay on top of it I’m not really sure myself. I thought about maybe incorporating some reach-out-to-friends time into my routine, like an hour every other monday where I spend some time calling/texting a friend, but I can decide who to reach out to and what method of communication to use in the moment, so I feel less pressured. Haven’t tried it yet, though. Sometimes I like to write a letter or postcard to someone I haven’t seen in a while. It might be a little weird and oldschool, but it’s easier for me to take my time and have some room to talk about what happened during the last few months. Also it is a nice surprise for your friend to find in theur mailbox!








  • I try to stay informed about the situation but not daily and also not lokking at pictures or videos. Because having these things descibed in text or speech is still very impactful to me but it doesn’t give me nightmares. That being said, try to take care of yourself. You’re not being unfeeling or egotistical for not consuming information that makes you actively suicidal. Think of it more like this: you don’t actually help anyone by reading the news. However, there are things you can do to help, like going to protests, donating to aid programs, educating others etc. But all of these take energy (especially for someone with autism), so conserving your energy is important. Maybe try avoiding news about gaza except for once a week for a few minutes. And instead every time you think about it research ways you could help those people. That way these feelings get channeled into something useful and don’t become self-destructive.