After awhile, Poseiden comes and kicks your ass until you stop. Live by the magic sword, die by the magic sword.

I like the mental image of a dwarf ship that’s 6 ft tall and got 47 masts to make up for it.

Imagine the emotional and physical damage of taking your first shit in thousands of years.

Can’t recall things you never knew.

Your character doesn’t know that information.

A wizard did it.

No one actually plays dnd like that though…

Given what Mountain Dew has done to me, that tracks.

Jokes on you, we play every rpg!

Bards aren’t just “a talented musician” they literally use magic. They’re basically wizards that went the liberal arts path in college.

A war could always just end by the bad guy (from your perspective) winning decisively.

I think as a teenager I played a lot of Bards because being likeable and everyone doing what you say is kind of nice when you’re an awkward disempowered kid, but nowadays I mix it up. Mostly just because playing the same character repeatedly would get kind of boring for me, and I want to explore different territory, even if it’s on the level of “original the hedgehog donut steal”

That’s kind of funny in a terrible way when you consider that a lot of security research is pentesting.

Therapist: “Also you’re fat”

Patient: [incoherent sobbing]

Therapist: “Ok so you’re insecure about that too, try to work on that…”

I’ve always just treated it as a natural 3D extension of the 2D grid rules

I believe that’s how it’s handled in D&D too, or at least how my table has always done it. I meant more as a practical matter, you’re very unlikely to have a vertical wall grid and some kind of stand of the correct height for your minis, so you can’t just count squares like you would for horizontal movement. That’s when the Pythagorean Theorem comes up in my experience.

That’s fair. Perhaps another style of DMing and/or a different system are more your speed.

If you actually have to use that much math more than once in a blue moon, you’re doing it wrong.

There’s no grid in the sky, though

Sometimes restrictions breed creativity, though.

The DM can not metagame, definitionally

The secret to writing (or playing) characters that are smarter than you are is that you can take your time coming up with what they do. Maybe in-game your character has a razor wit and would have a snappy comeback for any situation. Out of game you’ve got a list of pre-prepared retorts you can bust out as needed.