has emoji potential

the gofundme for Renee Good’s family is up to like $1.5 million, it’s not all bad out there

actually really weird that corn doesn’t make an appearance anywhere

strategic pizza reserves

(I guess they would actually be tactical pizza reserves)

pretty fuckin’ rich to be writing from a country that is actively rolling back its environmental protections and never had subsidies for shit

one day we’ll find out the pentagon has invested in giant pizza freezers and industrial microwaves so that they can time delay/head fake the index

butthole logos for shit extrusion machines, they’re dabbing on us

keto nation, wheat lobby in shambles

did ice kidnap the hamsters who keep the site running or what

no way

it sure would be a shame if bill ackman got kirked

think positive, comrade. when, not if

yes I’ll take two lb of derpfish please

drag him before a people’s tribunal and cut his phone-knocking hands off

it’s a small glimpse into an eldritch, lovecraftian fractal of nonsense, each piece branching off into new sanity-damaging networks of wtf

it just gets more the longer it goes on

heroically meeting the moment, as usual

aren’t they always

clearly not dragged far enough. tie him behind a truck and haul him down i35 all the way to texas