I’ll compromise: they’re about as politically neutral as the US democratic party is left-wing.

Beautiful, just beautiful. This! This is why we’re spending all that effort unwrapping those scrolls that Vesuvius tried to bury for some reason all those millennia ago.

Malfoy suppresses his rage. He knows for sure that Fred had a bigger dick, but has to settle with George’s piece.

Hear, hear! (I’m old too)

BBC

Are you serious? The BBC are literally a government mouthpiece, with a subversive right-wing bias. When Labour is in power, they over-report every misdeed, and when the Tories are in power, they maybe raise an eyebrow as the country burns. The last BBC director was a major Tory who received a sizeable bribe from his party during his tenure.

https://www.theguardian.com/media/2023/mar/12/tim-davie-bbc-director-general-embroiled-gary-lineker-controversy

There’s a version of Morrissey’s Irish Blood, English Heart that hit the radios before it was released, and it was waay better than what we actually got:

no weird comical sound effects, cleaner sound, the high guitar could be heard way better, and the ending riff was a harmonious one, not some eclectic free-for-all.

After years of believing I had hallucinated/mandela’d the whole thing, I finally found it:

The Janice Long Radio cut

Is that canon? I thought that was from the 2000s cartoon

I would instantly pull the lever, no cap

Split the track in half, and ramp up one side, causing the trolley to drive on two wheels, effectively only slicing the legs off of your loved ones.

OOOHHHHH
WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA

If cat can witness the event, then Yes or No but not both.

For a second there, I really thought you meant

I never picked up on that lesson, truth be told

The boy who survived has never talked about the incident. Can you imagine coping with the guilt of feeling the warmth of your classmates cocooned around you fading gently away one by one, leaving you alone with only the memory of their sacrifice…

On that sombre note:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cairngorm_Plateau_disaster

It was only on Monday afternoon, when the parents were gathered at the school, that the news came that five of their children were dead. The father explained that the boy who survived was the smallest student in the party; maybe the others (two women leaders, four girls and one boy) had been huddling round him to protect him from the cold

I bet you any money that we’re talking about the exact same person.

He had been having an affair with the teddy bear.

I never understood the attraction. “oh my god she’s so different!”

If she never painted her hair, her coy personality would be an actual red flag. But nope, coloured hair = quirky, so gotta put up with that whole mess.

Woah. That’s a lot of printer cartridges. I hope you get the colours you need!

Paternity: time your pregnancy to coincide with the start of an X year contract, or they simply won’t renew it.