WASHINGTON—In what they described as a disappointing turn in the ongoing negotiations, White House officials confirmed Wednesday that diplomatic talks had broken down between President Donald Trump and a motion-activated ghost decoration. “The president has done everything he can to find common ground with our historic ally, but the animatronic apparition refuses to cooperate,” said […]
  • IninewCrow@lemmy.caEnglish
    35·
    2 months ago

    Motion activated ghost was later arrested by ICE agents and deported to an undisclosed location in the land of the living.

  • tetris11@feddit.ukEnglish
    11·
    2 months ago

    The president approached the creepy skull-faced wraith several times with generous, multibillion-dollar offers but was met with nothing more than a frantic waving of bony arms. We do not take these insults lightly, and America will not back down.” Diplomatic observers warned the breakdown in relations could threaten U.S. interests, allowing the giant hairy spider with red LED eyes to swoop in and increase its soft power across the globe

    Goddamn I love these writers