I really don’t want to push things too far with them, but so far I haven’t really been able to hold my grandkids except for very brief periods and even then there are rules. No kissing them on the hands or face, the aforementioned no tickling their feet. They don’t really seem to be up to letting me watch the grandkids at any point, even though I raised my son and his siblings just fine.
The discipline seems to be completely missing, and I had a talk with my son and he attributed it to wanting to stop generational trauma. What the fuck does that even mean? I took it as though he is trying to say he had a bad childhood. But I had a great childhood, and I would say he did too as far as things like not having any abuse in the house, etc. So how far back does one need to go to round up some trauma. Maybe they are talking about his gf’s family? I guess I will have to sit down with him again and see what exactly he means by that.
It doesn’t surprise me that you’re getting limited access to your grandkids if you are not respecting their boundaries, that is, their rules. That they are kooky is beside the point.
I only tickled one grandkids feet for about a second and no one was looking. Other than that I have been very respectful of their batshit decisions (my personal opinion). But thanks for chiming in.
OK, sorry, I misread “I couldn’t resist, and they couldn’t watch me all the time” as meaning you were tickling their feet in front of them and they couldn’t bear to watch.
Damn english. Yeah I can see how that was a way to read it. I meant that they stepped out of the room one time, and I tickled the little guys feet. Who wouldn’t want to tickle a baby’s cute little feet. They never saw me, and I never told them I did it. Now if I was an asshole, I would be telling them what I did, now that he is older and doesn’t stutter, trying to use it to prove them wrong. But I would never bring it up, and only brought it up here because I can remain mostly anonymous so they will never find out.
The thread is about the most nonsense thing you have ever been told. I am glad you are so aware of the rest of our relationship. They are entitled to make rules for their kids, but doesn’t mean I don’t respect them in other ways, and doesn’t mean I have to think they aren’t nonsense. Anything else you want to enlighten me about mr freud?
I am glad you are so aware of the rest of our relationship
I only know what you’ve told us: You specifically ignored the rules they asked you to follow when watching their children, they don’t let watch their children (these two points might be related), and you claim to be “respectful of their batshit decisions”.
If some randos on the internet can hear your disdain this loudly…
You specifically ignored the rules they asked you to follow when watching their children
One single time I tickled my grandson’s feet. Other than that all of the other rules they have placed I have been respectful of whether I agree or disagree and I am allowed to think of their rules however I want. Not sure where you are getting that I am just blatantly ignoring them.
Not sure where you are getting that I am just blatantly ignoring them.
This line right here:
he should be stuttering by now because I couldn’t resist, and they couldn’t watch me all the time. :)
Really sounds like you’re bragging about breaking their rules. Are the absurd? Absolutely. What would have been the harm of following this rule? nothing. What was gained by breaking it? A small amount of dopamine for you personally.
You broke it because you could for no benefit whatsoever and are smugly bragging about it. Do you think you sound like the good guy in your story?
If you’re not going to follow a simple harmless rules, why would they trust you to follow the important ones? It reminds me of the story of the grandmother that didn’t believe the mother when she said her child was allergic to coconut oil and though it was “nonsense”: https://rareddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/7qmed5/you_can_come_over_again_when_you_bring_me_my
(Spoiler, this doesn’t end well for anybody)
Makes me want to ask what other kooky wrongness they hold in their head, either in childrearing beliefs or general day to day knowledge.
Spare the rod spoil the child
I really don’t want to push things too far with them, but so far I haven’t really been able to hold my grandkids except for very brief periods and even then there are rules. No kissing them on the hands or face, the aforementioned no tickling their feet. They don’t really seem to be up to letting me watch the grandkids at any point, even though I raised my son and his siblings just fine.
The discipline seems to be completely missing, and I had a talk with my son and he attributed it to wanting to stop generational trauma. What the fuck does that even mean? I took it as though he is trying to say he had a bad childhood. But I had a great childhood, and I would say he did too as far as things like not having any abuse in the house, etc. So how far back does one need to go to round up some trauma. Maybe they are talking about his gf’s family? I guess I will have to sit down with him again and see what exactly he means by that.
It doesn’t surprise me that you’re getting limited access to your grandkids if you are not respecting their boundaries, that is, their rules. That they are kooky is beside the point.
I only tickled one grandkids feet for about a second and no one was looking. Other than that I have been very respectful of their batshit decisions (my personal opinion). But thanks for chiming in.
OK, sorry, I misread “I couldn’t resist, and they couldn’t watch me all the time” as meaning you were tickling their feet in front of them and they couldn’t bear to watch.
Damn english. Yeah I can see how that was a way to read it. I meant that they stepped out of the room one time, and I tickled the little guys feet. Who wouldn’t want to tickle a baby’s cute little feet. They never saw me, and I never told them I did it. Now if I was an asshole, I would be telling them what I did, now that he is older and doesn’t stutter, trying to use it to prove them wrong. But I would never bring it up, and only brought it up here because I can remain mostly anonymous so they will never find out.
Oh yes, I hear how much respect you have for them in your posts.
The thread is about the most nonsense thing you have ever been told. I am glad you are so aware of the rest of our relationship. They are entitled to make rules for their kids, but doesn’t mean I don’t respect them in other ways, and doesn’t mean I have to think they aren’t nonsense. Anything else you want to enlighten me about mr freud?
I only know what you’ve told us: You specifically ignored the rules they asked you to follow when watching their children, they don’t let watch their children (these two points might be related), and you claim to be “respectful of their batshit decisions”.
If some randos on the internet can hear your disdain this loudly…
One single time I tickled my grandson’s feet. Other than that all of the other rules they have placed I have been respectful of whether I agree or disagree and I am allowed to think of their rules however I want. Not sure where you are getting that I am just blatantly ignoring them.
This line right here:
Really sounds like you’re bragging about breaking their rules. Are the absurd? Absolutely. What would have been the harm of following this rule? nothing. What was gained by breaking it? A small amount of dopamine for you personally.
You broke it because you could for no benefit whatsoever and are smugly bragging about it. Do you think you sound like the good guy in your story?
If you’re not going to follow a simple harmless rules, why would they trust you to follow the important ones? It reminds me of the story of the grandmother that didn’t believe the mother when she said her child was allergic to coconut oil and though it was “nonsense”: https://rareddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/7qmed5/you_can_come_over_again_when_you_bring_me_my (Spoiler, this doesn’t end well for anybody)