It won’t be as anywhere coherent as many here are suggesting. Expect extreme Hollywood stupidity, a grimdark Batman/Robin Hood who brutally kills the Sheriff’s men but in an over-stylized speed-up and slow-down way like in 300 or The Matrix. Evil King John will be weirdly steampunk and actually working for Saladin to kill good King Richard and communicating through a clockwork magic portal thing. Robin is forced to murder the Merry Men to find and kill King John, but just when he arrives John pulls a giant chain that makes the portal grow. Then you’ll hear Hollywood middle eastern music as hordes of saracens led by King Richard pour out. Robin Hood will realize just as he kills King John that John was right and he has to close the portals and send Richard back, but England needs to believe in a good King so he does this while sacrificing himself to preserve the myth of the good King Richard the Lionheart.
Reminds me of that Lancelot movie made some years back. God what a mess.
That said, if A24 is making it, I don’t think they’ll take a capeshit angle with this
if A24 is making it,
those assholes are supposed to making the parable of the sower movie not this
What’s that?
parable of the sower is a book about a young black woman growing up during the 2020s as america, led by MAGA President Donner, is falling apart due to climate change, political reaction and institutional decay. It’s written like a journal, starting when she’s a teenager and kind if just picking up on how bad things are getting even though she and her neighbors are (barely) shielded from things by living in a gated community.
It’s really good for young adult fiction. It was written in 1993.
The only thing I really don’t like about it is there’s no mention of socialism, just the main character inventing some stupid pseudophilosophy she calls “earthseed” that can be boiled down to 1) god is change and 2) we should go to space, mannn
CW: EXTREME age gap relationship, kind of graphic descriptions of someone tortured to death, and the sequel (which I haven’t read) is apparently full of sexual assault and other awful shit
Also it was supposed to be a trilogy but she stopped writing the 3rd book and wrote something else before she died.
The Lancelot movie is from A24 no?
Wait, was it?! oml
The labcelot movie felt like it was hacked together from a much better movie, and indeed, I read that there was a lot.of executive meddling that led to that absolute mess
You know what? Fuck it. If it’s a Lies of P style movie I’ll watch it despite the dogshit politics.
Evil King John will be weirdly steampunk and actually working for Saladin to kill good King Richard and communicating through a clockwork magic portal thing.
Based
Actually he was no angel 'cause he caused a lot of trouble for the burgher class and they were just simple small business owners
He was no Angle
i mean he was no engels
Indeed, he was not just a hero, he was a
Ned Ludd of Nottingham is seeing a revival as an anti-capital folk hero and suddenly we start seeing anti-robinhood propaganda
AI happened and the opposition all got called Luddites, instead of the usual responses of “no, I’m just cautious of untested technology and fearful for my means of making a living”, at least some started bringing up that the original Luddites weren’t just reactionary technophobes, they were disgruntled laborers losing skilled work to machines that significantly less people could operate with significantly less skill and training, and saying yes, they are Luddites, and I’m impressed. Much better historical literacy than you expect from Western liberals.
i hope they get hugh “huge jacked man” jackman down to like 3% body fat and so dehydrated we can see individual capilaries pulsing on his biceps while he draws the bow.
i also hope they make RH ultraviolent and completely lacking in civility and moderation in his class war against the rich–meant to be an example of why we must remember the humanity of billionaires–backfiring and encouraging only more loathing.
like how the true way to watch The Dark Knight Rises is as though its being remembered by an unreliable narrator and its really a tragic story about a hero named Bane.
Don’t you know the rich people he stole from had SONS AND DAUGHTERS? Don’t you know the cops/soldiers he killed had WIVES AT HOME? Won’t someone please think of the “good” people who are suffering and ignore the “bad” people who are suffering?
I want it to be like the Romeo and Juliet from the 90s with John Leguizamo, where it’s all modernized.
Robin Hood is rocking an AR-15 and running crypto scams.
cut to: idyllic fail daughter washing feet of peasants, and teaching them to read
cut to: she travels through the forest and stops to save a deer in a bear trap
cut to: dirty men descend on her and steal her jewelry and leave her naked in forest
cut to: they celebrate and drink in some cave
cut to: fail daughter shivers in the forest and fights wolves with a stick
cut to: beggar comes for some money and they tell them to get lost
cut to: grizzled sheriff saves her and says enuff is enuff
…
cut to faildaughter says to father not to execute robin, as that will make them as bad as them
cut to: father says you’ ave to make tuff choices, sweetie
coming to theaters near you
Stealing from the poor to give to the rich.
Scuba hood
just like the app
Ngl I find Robin Hood endlessly fascinating because there is a folk hero buried in there that actually slaps, but it’s so hard to make it work in a way that is historically convincing i.e. how does ‘rob from the rich, give to the poor’ work under feudalism? Disney squared the circle by making it a story about the evils of taxing peasants of their (checks notes)… gold coins, and the sad thing is that’s basically as close as anyone has come to getting it right. Maybe after the revolution we’ll get a decent Robin Hood adaptation idk
stealing food back? i don’t think americans are literate enough to understand a different kind of economy and that’s one of the reasons we always get fantasy medieval capitalism.
Yeah it would have to be grain or something, wouldn’t it? But then you give it back and… it’s still the lord’s grain, isn’t it 🤷
Trash propaganda movie, we already know he rises, and rises again until lambs become lions.
idk but that British twink who does archery vids is gunna see a sizeable bump in viewership
lmao i know exactly who your talking about
The same direction as all other trash american cinema.
My name is Robin Antifa Hood and I am stealing from the rich because I envy them and their protestant work ethic. I will die because I chose violence over debate. The wealthy will surround me and cry for my soul, with close-ups on their faces so that everyone knows they’re sad someone has to suffer.
