When I was a kid, I lived in an area that was a weird test market for new products from RC Cola. At some point, they tried to introduce a more “extreme” successor to Sun Drop to compete with Mountain Dew/Mello Yello and, more directly, Surge. It was called Kick, and my non-citrus enjoyer peers often described it as having the worst qualities of Dew, Mello Yello, and Sun Drop:

I remember getting hold of a 20 ounce plastic bottle of the stuff that should have failed quality control or something, because some kind of bottling plant runoff (likely dried syrup chunks) had wound up in the bottle and gotten re-dissolved by the citric and carbonic acids. I never made it past taking a single whiff of that horrid shit, but I kept it in the back of my car for emergencies (because you never know when you might need to dare one of your dumbass teenage friends into drinking something probably not fit for human consumption. We didn’t have a lot of drug dealers around, OK?). It became known as The Vile Kick. It must have sat in the back of that car for a total of around a year and a half, with at least two takers that tried a swig on a bet and learned new depths to the phrase “instant regret.”

If that stuff came back, eh, I’d probably fall for the millennial chungus nostalgia bait. Especially if they figured out a zero sugar formulation.

This is really fitting because in the film xXx starring Vin Diesel his first stunt of the film is about gamers’ rights. Then back at his compound he’s partying and drinking SoBe when the feds raid the place.

Only if it returns to being in glass bottles versus the shitty plastic ones they have now. Also bring back Surge.

Also tackling DRM. Drinks Rights Management.

Unironically a Stop Killing Games for other products would be great - When they discontinue a soda, they just have to open source an exhaustive list of ingredients and recipe process so people can make it themselves. We’d have some crazy good recipes.

Raid the Mountain Dew vaults and bring back all the greats

Sangrita Blast

DEW.S.A.

Dewshine

It’s poison yes, but i want to keep drinking that garbage

If we’re dreaming of drinks gone by, I recall something called “Iso Green” from a college cafeteria’s soda fountain in the mid-90s. It seemed like a budget beverage; the logo was just a clip art surfer dude with a thought bubble reading “Iso Green.” Or maybe it was a golfer. I don’t think it was carbonated. It was pretty damn green. It didn’t taste anything in particular; it was a post-representational flavor. I don’t even necessarily want to drink it again; just getting closure would be nice.

Orbitz 😭

As a fan of discontinued snack Wasabi Ginger Lay’s potato chips, I’m begging you to expand the movement

I used to survive off of the Pina Colada and Strawberry Banana flavours.

Make American Tab Again

Back in the 80s there was “Apple Slice” - a sibling to Orange Slice from Pepsi. It was good shit. I liked it, so of course it was killed.

In 2005, Coca Cola company launched this competitor to Pepsi’s Mountain Dew. It was advertised as being both an energy drink and a soda. Vault was discontinued in 2011. I remember always buying them when skipping school.

I have a few treats I want back

Bring back the original Canadian caffeine free mountain dew, they changed it like a decade ago and it’s way worse now

Also the Yorkie bar with whole peanuts, I don’t know why it’s so fucking hard to find a chocolate bar that’s just chocolate and whole peanuts, they always want to throw in caramel or nougat. And don’t tell me about Mr. Goodbar, that shit tastes like wax

Bring back Cima Red.