“No mom, my girlfriend is real. She only went to get some pizza from the tourists at the beach.”
Seagurl
I have apparently dated … at least 3 seagulls.
yeah but have you tried seaotters?
Oh fuck yeah, it’s my tern now, removed.
squawk
This is like 75% of my first dates these days. TIL I date seagulls.
I grew up on the beach and hated them as a kid, and this also explains why I hate so many of my first dates too.
Have you tried asking humans out on a date? Might have better luck. At the very least, human beaks are softer than seagull beaks.
I assume they are humans until they start squawking and demanding truffle fries. I fucking hate truffle fries.
Tfw you date a professional streamer, former professional TF2 and overwatch player.
Sorry, can’t really relate but it sounds like a great time hahaha.
The guy goes by the name a_seagull
Edit added a photo
LOL that helps. Thanks for replying! :D
I truly do not understand why people hate seagulls so much. 
I live in a seaside tourist town and have had to fight them for food in my hands. Those cheeky fuckers will swoop you like raptors.
Even cuter now
Seagulls play by rules that are broadly well understood, and clear.
Now… geese …those motherfuckers have no honor.
One reason is because they poke your knee.
Stop it now!
159 million views! Wow…
They used to be a real big thing, in the before times
I don’t hate them, but fear and respect them.
Because like pigeons they’re flying rats
What’s wrong with rats? They are just trying to get by.
I like pigeons and seagulls. and rats are cute.
Even cuter, rats are adorable and so are pigeons
Bloody beach pigeons…
Good gull.
That sounds exactly like my girl
Im a seagull
Beach rats.
Parking lot scavengers where I’m from
Whew. Hate the beach personally. Almost thought I was a seagull, but not quite!
I seagull, shakin dat ass
You deserve so many more uptoots for that
