I didn’t come out until I was 26, and it went badly.
My dad sat in judgement and was very ashamed of me. He did change his mind much later but still said “I don’t like your lifestyle”.
Mum never changed and did not like it all.
Both of them are dead now, and… I don’t particularly miss them. I feel strange reading about how other people appreciate their parents.
My partner’s mum considers me her 2nd son. She’s been so accepting of me, as has her family. Same with my cousins, who my dad decided not to tell. When I did tell them after he died, they were mostly very welcoming.
The first time my sexual questioning came up my dad felt it was supportive with “I don’t care what you are, so long as your happy… just so long as you aren’t gay <laugh>”
That was followed by a moment’s uncomfortable silence and “more bi or pan really … still trying to work things out”
There was more silence and I dropped him at the train station…
He’s been a lot more supportive more recently though thankfully…
My parents were frustrated, but not boiling over when I came out as bi. I guess they thought future grandchildren weren’t out of the question yet. Then I came out as trans, and I was immediately dead to them. I’ve been reconnecting with my mom years later because she’s divorcing my dad, but I’m still being cautious about it. Life has been brighter without them around anyway.
Ama very rural guy who grew up with a left wing familly.
They mocked me and didn’t take me seriously. They weren’t hateful directly, but just utterly dismissive of me. When I got a boyfriend they were ultra strict but let my brother fuck his girlfriend in his room. My boyfriend wasn’t allowed on the porch and we had to have a stiff and awkward conversation next to the road.
I couldn’t walk in the same room as my dad because he’d aggressively mock me for sounding gay and being too feminine. It gave me bad insecurities and I put on a layer of fake masculinity that I now realize I ruined my youth with. I wish I could just be a femboy at 18 instead of a balding wrinkled pig in lipstick like right now.
When my future husband was suicidal and I devoted all my time to comforting him, they mocked me more. They arbitrarily grounded me from my phone and computer. So when i stole my phone and used it to communicate with my husband (and use reddit) my dad literally picked me up and threw me out of the house.
If it wasn’t for my uncle I’d have been homeless.
Writing all of that down makes me regret rebuilding my relationship with my dad now that I’m married, but I’m not going to undo that. I guess it’s better this way.
They were “supportive” but when it comes to actual support they avoid it. When I mentioned ace and aro they dismissed it saying I’ll grow out of it. Been told my whole life we will love you whoever you love and whoever you are. I’ve had two relationships in secret :/ when I came out as non-binary it was forced and wasn’t meant to happen. Don’t remember what but they misgender me because “it’s too hard” to switch between they/them at the house and she/her with extended family -_- as if I don’t do that constantly. That and actively making fun of my name. They constantly talk about how queer rights matter but won’t actually support their queer kid. I’m so ready to move out. It’s bizarre I don’t get it
I hear so many times, and have experiences it myself, where families are cool with gay and trans people right until their child comes out, and suddenly it’s not OK and they start making excuses.
It’s just… Shit. Why would they be so nasty?
I think for sure my parents comes from some part of their strongly Christian upbringing or something like that. Where queer people are fine, but then also imagining also having your kid be queer is too much? Either way still doesn’t make sense and has hurt my relationship significantly with them. Especially considering I plan on moving in with my girlfriend at some point
