Be really good friends with the president

Smoke 2 packs a day because vaping is a symptom of the woke mind virus.

Must have studied medicine at this university

Kind of like certain animals and insects, it operates on queen principles. The white American male with the most brain worms is recognized as the queen host, and is therefore granted the position. In the event of a tie, the oldest host wins.

A big part of the issues with the current one is that the host doesn’t have a breeding pair, and there are concerns that they don’t even have a single living worm, but instead a rotting one and significant brain damage with no worm to offset that. You see, brain damage is a negative modifier, but it is normally overpowered by the significant positives of even a single living brain worm.