I have gas from eating lots of bread, which is not unusual, but for some reason today’s farts hurt my ass.
They’re not those super hot farts, they’re just really… pressurized? They come out loud and proud and it feels kinda violent. Any ideas?
This place is the wish.com /r/askreddit
Bro modern r/askreddit is the wish version. You been there lately? It’s just AI bot spam asking the same dumbass questions that have gotten the most engagement in the past. All of Reddit has devolved to bullshit low effort questions by bots. Like almost every subreddit is just “what’s the XYZ about this ABC related to this sub?!?” It’s fucking awful there now
“What’s the sexiest sex you’ve ever sexed?”
“What’s the spookiest thing you’ve ever seen in Utah?”
These are both actually lifted word for word from recent posts there
Even for years, r/askreddit was drowned in annoying sexual questions like “what would you do if you became the opposite sex” or “what should men/women know about women/men”
It got so repetitive.
It’s that, but on every sub. It’s pretty insane. And then tons of comments that are THE EXACT SAME COMMENTS I always see for that question. It’s literally just bots talking to bots
Have you tried spreading cheek a bit, to see if you can whistle?
When i have too many tacos i can play the clarinet
but usually you just take it?
Thank you Doctor.
You should probably not eat so much bread. You may have a gluten intolerance. See if you can blow up a balloon with the next one.
Break out a kazoo for extra points!
He could play the harmonica while reciting poetry
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Take a long hot shower and wash the area well
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Try to cut down on dairy for the near future
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Lie down in the sexy open-shirt Jeff Goldblum from Jurassic Park pose when a fart is approaching
Life… *brutal fart noises* …finds a way.
In my mind I inserted the Reverb Fart sound effect and it was hilarious.
Get that chest hair caressed by wind!
Your own wind even
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If you had a stomach ache and had a poo with stomach acid in it (eg diarrhea), the acid can irritate your ring and make farts hurt.
This sounds made up but I want to believe it and will do no further research into the matter. Mystery solved.
My asshole would to assure you it’s not made up and does in fact really hurt.
Your asshole is slamming shut like a screen door in a windstorm?
Being serious, I’m not sure how you eat enough bread to cause this unless you have some sort of stomach-related-issue or gluten intolerance or something. Unless you just eat way too much bread and then mix it with something that it reacts with?
Probably anal fission. When he splits his crack, a lot of energy is released.
No to be confused with anal fusion, which is when your ass cheeks clap together.
When that happens with me it usually is the first sign of a hemorrhoid flare-up.
Chainsaw farts, great for itching your hole with a fart.
have gas from eating lots of bread, which is not unusual,
Yeah it is. Unless you know you have a specific medical condition?
My sympathies. Earlier this week I made dinner with an Impossible Meat brick that was a single day past the labelled expiration. I had some unexpected GI issues that I’ve attributed to that and I really felt terrible after, like I’d strained my pooper or something. Been farting like a cow ever since. I keep apologizing to my wife. Fuck knows why or how she puts up with me.
“best before date” or “expiry date”? Because if it was expiry date i think you need to look into food(& medicine) safety
Thank you, Doctor.
Happens to me when I eat nothing but beef jerky like I did yesterday. Just woke up like ten minutes ago with a fat man locked and loaded, had to lift my leg to make sure the ordnance cleared the fuselage.
Maybe it’s digested fat? Idk I’m no nutritionist
You’re a motherfucking modern poet.
I’d buy a book if you wrote it.
That’s hot
Start an only fans make money.
