Being rude to service staff. Immediate indicator on who they are as a person. There is zero reason to ever be mad at someone making near minimum wage whose job it is to grab you a drink or check you out or something. It also shows that they’ve themselves never worked service, which is a rite of passage
“Why should I tip?! I’m already paying for the service!”
Immediately leave without even telling them to take a cab.
Edit: 1, I am in the US, yes.
2: the wording sounded like it implied a behavior of a date while out dining. I was answering based on how I’d respond if a prospective mate treated underpaid US staff shitty.
Happens to be true in all modern western countries though, only the US seems unable to force companies to pay a livable minimum wage.
That is specifically a US problem.
Not necessarily. I’m not in the US, but we’ve imported a lot of their less savoury customs, and tipping culture is one of them. It is costumary to tip 18% where I’m from.
If I am ordering and picking up at a counter fuck tipping. If I’m actually being waited on then I’ll always tip if the service wasn’t dogshit.
I tip in those situations because the $5 won’t make a difference to me, but might to them.
Like, if you’re broke, whatever. But some people are pulling in seven figures annually and still whine about a $5 tip.
+1 to being rude to service staff Also MAGA apparel or citing Jesus/God constantly
It depends. I run a bar and also frequent bars. I see a lot of behavior from wait staff I’d fire them for. Wait staff endlessly removed about customers but its a two way street, staff develops a blind spot to their own behavior due to spending so much time in a bar.
Bro they are working in a high intensity environment. You are there to have fun. They are talking behind your back. (So how does that affect you?) Versus actively being a jerk to someone just doing their job (which is, unfortunately, to engage with you). It’s not the same.
Are you really trying to explain running a bar to me? Anyways your answer is horseshit. I work in that high intensity environment and see the blinders go on. Innocuous requests by customers turn into staff acting like it’s a massive imposition. They openly talk to me because they’ve been at my bar, served by me, and I know who’s I’d hire and I wouldn’t from the free talk.
Cool story bro.
Can I interest you in this Chick Tract?
/s
So many things.
- queer phobic. I’m not queer but many of my friends are. I don’t need that negativity in my life.
- smoker. Maybe a pass if they are actively trying to quit. Maybe. Most active smokers I’ve known have kind of been assholes about it, though.
- littering. Sometimes combined with the above when smokers throw their butts on the ground
- being a jerk about people having healthy hobbies. Like, just let someone enjoy some video games or bird watching or whatever. I can’t with people who are like “omg that’s so childish you still [play games/read fiction/go to the zoo/whatever]?”.
- being anti-consent. I’ve met a few women who are like “just do stuff and I’ll tell you if I don’t like it” and I’m like lady there’s some “stuff” that can be done that by the time it’s happening , the damage is done. Let’s just have a conversation about what we like and what our boundaries are.
littering.
I was going out with this guy I really liked. Probably 3rd or 4th date. We decided to take a drive, and went to a local grist mill. Walked around, had a nice time. Took the scenic route home on this road that ran along a pristine Tennessee Creek. He was drinking a Gatorade or something, and when he finished it, rolled down the window and chucked the bottle out into the creek.
I stopped the car, made him go pick it up (or I wasn’t going to drive him the 20+ miles home), and never called him again. Fuck. That. Behavior.
Good for you. That’s disgusting behaviour.
The fuck is wrong with going to the zoo? Other than if it’s a shitty zoo giving animals a shit life, but c’mon.
it’s “childish” to enjoy fun things like the zoo, according to some incomprehensibly boring and immature people.
Ah yes, so childish you need a Master’s degree to get an internship there.
This is so many people on IRC it’s not even funny.
Especially most libera mods. Their god complexes can be seen from space, they’re often highly unreasonable, hold decades long grudges and have a hair trigger for anyone even remotely trying to be funny.
People think there’s a fuckin cutoff age for reading fiction?
smoking
anti-consent
Can’t help but feel a “my body my choice, your body my choice” vibe from this
I don’t understand what you are trying to say.
I just think it’s odd that you immediately associate smoking with being an asshole - unless they’re quitting. Like you make it very clear that personal agency is important to you - but smoking makes you a piece of shit.
Smoking is bad for the smoker and everyone around them. If you’re not even trying to stop, you are kind of a piece of shit.
I don’t see what that has to do with asking for consent to touch someone’s butt.
i don’t think being a smoker necessarily makes you an a*shole, but surely makes other people live with the smell and the taste of tobacco. and you can’t force people to do that.
I make it a point to not discuss things like this when people aren’t thinking clearly.
When you smoke a cigarette the smoke doesn’t automatically find the nearest non-smokers lungs in order to harm them. The smoke settles, and there are more than enough places far enough away from people to smoke at.
If you’re worried about secondhand smoke harming you in any context outside of smoking indoors - I’m sorry but you just aren’t thinking clearly.
It’s fine to not be into whatever you want. If I said I didn’t find Asians attractive, that wouldn’t make me a racist. (I do, for the record, same as I’m into boys of every other nationality, but if I didn’t it would still be a personal preference and no one’s business but my own.)
Nope. You literally cannot smoke without polluting others.
You also literally can’t play videogames without polluting others, since some of the electricity is still generated by burning coal. You also literally can’t do any other thing either probably, since electricity is used in creating almost everything, or at least some other pollution.
I think if someone tries to make sure not to smoke near unknown people or people that don’t want it, they’re acceptable in my book.
These people are under the impression that secondhand smoke is sentient and immediately finds the nearest non-smokers lungs to pollute. I wouldn’t expect logic to get through to them.
You mean smokers cannot respect consent? Agreed
Smoking cigarettes
Does this apply to vape and weed?
Yes, but not to the same degree.
Rudeness to cashiers, wait staff, housekeepers, children or elderly people. If you are mean or rude to these people I assume you think you matter more based on social standing, and can’t be bothered to even be polite. At that point I don’t care if you are nice to me.
Might be picky but if they don’t return their shopping carts or just leaves it in a parking spot
deleted by creator
Probably. That would be wrong, though. If you’re really sure you want to leave the cart right there just ignore them.
deleted by creator
Ah, and then you go to jail, where you can put your epic tacticool alpha-wolf skills to the ultimate test! Shit fury on them! They’re dead kiddo! /s
deleted by creator
What an excellent understanding of stand your ground laws. /s
Unfortunately no amount of bait will allow you to shoot me through the keyboard.
That already happened to him in Texas hahaha
deleted by creator
Use the word “Woke” (Or “Progre” in my language) Unironically.
Who do you mean by this?
I mean anyone who use the word Woke (Or Progre in my language) unironically.
It just seems very broad since people use it many ways “get woke” vs “the woke mob.” At least in the US it is used by people in both good and bad ways.
Huh, I have never hear anyone using “Woke” in a good way, but okey.
I haven’t either. Maybe it’s because I don’t use any social media but Lemmy
All of those uses are red flags, or at least would be over here.
The word “woke” is just a right-wing dog whistle, hence why it’s a red flag when somebody uses it except for the context of talking about these people.
Dogwhistle for “I hate people tackling social issues and think we should go back to women being controlled and abused, and men being miserable all day at work, while we completely disregard queer and children’s mental health”.
Or at least, it gets used that way by people who don’t use it as a reclamation term in a positive sense.
Historically it is a term used positively, for example in the expression ‘stay woke’ (1930s). So it is not really a reclamation, but rather a recent relegation by right wing people to a negative connotation. I have however heard some people legitimately use it in a positive manner, and some further reading on the Wikipedia page seems to support that even recently there are political leaders using it in a pro-racial equity sense.
I am aware of the positive origins of the word “Woke”. However, in colloquial usage, it is always used in a derogatory way. And it is usage that dictates the norm, whether we like it or not.
- Right-wing
- Cluster-B traits
- *-ist, *-phobe
- Prescriptive gender roles
- Smokes
What is cluster B?
What about Claustro-, Arachno-, Haemo-, etc.phobes? Or Cyclists or Scientists?
Cluster B personality disorders - most commonly known for borderline and narcissistic PDs.
Impossible to work with or fix. Just run. Fast.
Also schizoid IIRC, although that one is not really nasty or dangerous so much as just sad.
wait, shit, I’m a feminist, guess I’m out
OK what about vapes though.
Even worse.
Still discusting.
^^ end of thread here
Cluster-B traits are the bane of my existence.
deleted by creator
Drinks/imbibes beyond group vibes.
Man, I have a couple friends that have this exact problem and it’s tiresome…
drinks/imbibes beyond group vibes.
How about drinking while cooking? Yk, having wine while cooking steak au jus or something.
deleted by creator
Hm, yeah that’s more than reasonable.
"Have you ever heard of Jordan Peterson?"
“That depends…what do you mean by have, what do you mean by you and what do you mean by heard of?”
Anti-vaxxer / conspiracy theorist.
Republican
Having a shitty attitude about anything.
It just seems like you’re not able to enjoy things because you’re just a sour person.
I must be misunderstanding this one. That sounds like you want a person that buries their feelings and pretends to be joyful all the time. It’s perfectly human to have a bad day and on occasion be a little shitty.
If you’re speaking of them being shitty most of the time about most things then I can see your point.
Edit: Grammer is important when trying to communicate without misunderstanding.
Why would I be talking about the first one? Toxic positivity is complete and utter bullshit, and I’m tired of people telling me I can’t complain about other people for whatever reason.
Soundsike someone hurt you bro. This is the Internet, you don’t have to listen to anything randos say. That’s a choice you’re making.
Ya, this dude seems to have a fairly shitty attitude… 🤭
being mean to animals, not washing hands habitually, littering, leaving the shopping cart out, buzz cut / crew cut and variations thereof (for dudes, some chicks can rock it), having no weird behaviors at all. refusal to be emotionally honest (oh no, its me i’m sorry)
I just like my hair short and not in my face. :(
right? i mean, i’m balding and i find the alternative of growing the little hair i have left far more unpleasant than just having a buzz cut. but hey, that’s just preferences.
I’m glad you think so, honestly, but most people don’t give a shit about being mean to animals. That’s a hard one to find a like-minded person on.
Fr? Maybe it is just the people I hang out with but I dont know anyone who is outwardly mean to animals. Atleast I haven’t seen it
It depends on whether you think the existence of livestock is ‘mean to animals.’
Ah, in that case everyone I know is cruel. I suppose what I meant was that no one I know is cruel beyond the societal standards.
I would use the same definition as you, but that’s the only definition I can think of that would leave one thinking many people engage in animal cruelty. Unless your entire circle of friends is an illegal dogfighting ring.
Buzz cut for me screams “I’m an NPC and I have no personality.” At least that’s the first impression it passes to me.
Eh, some of us are just balding and it’s the least bad option.
I guess. Though if I ever start balding I plan on going full on egg bald, it looks better to me.
If you’ve got the head shape to pull it off, go for it. You don’t really know until you try it. I tried…
I’m gonna find out soon enough, and I’m worried. I already know I have a couple small bumps on my head (they feel like pimples/ingrown hairs, but I’ve tried squeezing them to no avail), and I’m almost positive my head is shaped differently than normal.
Buzz cut to me screams “I have so much social anxiety, have been bullied so badly, that I don’t trust a barber to give me a good haircut”
To me, it looks more like social camoflauge. “I’m just a normal guy, i have normal opinions, trust me bro” is the vibe I get. I get putting it on for things like work, but if you decide to blend in as your preferred look, ehh, i dunno, maybe I’d rather hang out with the bear, you know?
It’s a fucking haircut. You sure are reading a lot into a person based on their haircut.
i’m probably in the minority w this, but blending in is comfortable as hell, as someone who doesn’t really enjoy being social.
Long after the pandemic was under control I was still using a mask, partly due to health concerns back home, but mostly because with a mask, cap, and glasses, I could walk by people I know but would rather not strike up conversation.
Someone that takes abstract statements personally and responds in anger. It shows a lack of self awareness and depth. It also implies that they have a limited binary view of the world around them; a bipolar me versus others perspective outlook.
