In an unprecedented move, 13-year-old Brandon “Tired Bones” Hayden announced yesterday that he will be stepping down from his longstanding position as Commander and Chief of Chores. Citing reasons of fatigue, mental decline, and bad golf scores. Brandon does not have the power to appoint his successor but since he only has one sibling, his 10 year old sister Carmella is the only logical choice given such short notice.

The decision came after months of speculation and whispers around the dinner table about Brandon’s ability to maintain the rigorous standards of chore duty established during his tenure. Neighbors and family members alike have noted his frequent confusion, increase in naps and tendency to stare blankly at the wall.

Carmella, who has been serving as the backup chores officer, expressed her readiness to take on the new role. “I’ve been in training for years,” she said “I know I have some orthopedic shoes to fill, but I’m confident I can make our household clean again.”

Read the rest of this satire news article and more at TattletaleTimes.com

  • glimse@lemmy.worldEnglish
    153·
    3 months ago

    Babylonbee is satire for conservatives. This is satire for parents

    It’s ok if you don’t like it but why be a dick about it?

    • Tattletale Times@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
      113·
      3 months ago

      thanks, ya I actually set out for this site to be clean, apolitical satire about kids and parenting. a friend suggested this idea for an article and while i’m personally liberal, i can see humor in both sides. I by no means means aspire to be like babylon bee. There is, unfortunately, a ton of negativity in this sub dedicated to humor.