My daughter is 5 now. She’s discovered the joy of telling jokes. Unfortunately, her repertoire is painfully small. I’ve also realised most of my jokes are either not age appropriate or too situational.
What are best/worst kids jokes? Extra points for any that would make her teacher groan. Apparently she LOVES jokes. 😁
You must log in or # to comment.
Why are chickens so cool?
B’caws
Knock knock
Owls
Owls whoo
Yes they do
Q: What’s brown and sticky? A: A stick
There’s a dad jokes lemmy!
dadjokes@lemmy.world
whats long, brown, and sticky? a stick.
what’s long, blue, and sticky? a blue stick.
ive found kids live this due to the misdirection and then doubling down on it.
What’s pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Lettuce
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in and you’ll find out!
Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?
Because it didn’t have any body to go with
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it
Wow, I’ve heard both of these with different punchlines:
-
Lettuce out, it’s cold in here!
-
Because it didn’t have the guts.
-
A big hole was dug at the police station. They’re currently looking into it.
Why do firefighters wear red suspenders? Keeps their pants up.
My favorite clean joke, what do call a ship on the ocean floor that twitches? A nervous wreck.
Why’d the cookie go to the hospital?
He was feeling crummy!
What’d the envelope say to the stamp?
Stick with me, kid, we’ll go places.
A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall off a cliff.
Bah-dum-tsss.
How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.
5yo love gross humor
They definitely do!
Two nuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.
My kiddo loved that around her age.
That does not sound very age appropriate
What’s inappropriate about a salted nut?
It’s offensive to people with hypernatremia
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypernatremia
Hypernatremia is a high concentration of sodium in the blood for people who nut often.
Symptoms include weak knees, sore arms, and a salty taste in the mouth.
lmao
I don’t get it
Nuts often are salted. A salted, assaulted.
Why did the baby strawberry cry? Cause his mommy got stuck in a jam.
Yes, let’s get the kid started with dark humor.
It was either that or a washing machine.
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
The interruptive cow
The interrup-
MOOOOOO
Don’t teach them this one unless you’re visiting a relative you don’t like
Why shouldn’t you go the forest at noon?
That’s when the ripe elephants fall from the trees.Why does the alligator have such a flat nose?
Because he went to the forest at noon.Bonus points if you space them out a bit with unrelated jokes.
I would suggest a book of jokes specifically for kids. Like this one.
It’s free on Kindle Unlimited. You don’t even have to let your daughter know that you’re getting them from a book.
Be careful you’re not getting something written by AI that is not just terrible, but completely inappropriate. A human author could also do that, but…
Funny thing about this on is that my wife actually ghost wrote it. A few of the jokes in it are my creation.
We don’t get money from the sales. We just think it’s cool that it’s out in the world.
Assuming Kindle Unlimited is a paid service, the book isn’t free.
everything is free if you know where to look for it 🏴☠️
OMG! You’re technically correct but added nothing to the conversation! Congratulations!
It helped me out
