For me, it’s anal sex with a woman. There’s a hole right next to it that evolution has literally designed for your penis that doesn’t require extra prep and comes pre-lubed. Why choose the one where the poo comes out?

  • ⛔🍆ThisAccountIsNotForPorn🍆⛔@lemmynsfw.com
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    1 year ago

    I love anal, I don’t know why but it drives me wild. It’s taboo enough to make it less common without being super crazy, it takes more dedication, intimacy and teamwork and being comfortable with a level of vulnerability to enjoy than normal sex, and it feels great for both sides if you get it right. If a woman trusts you enough to do anal that’s a big deal and a turn on in itself.

    Sex is great, but its more common, less taboo, less wild, and less work. Sex is like a handjob compared to anal I guess.

    I dunno, I like em both, but when anal is hinted at, something in my brain pops.

    Otherwise, other than sexy outfits, I’m pretty vanilla and don’t “get” a lot of kinks. I don’t know why you’d hit someone you love and call them names, I don’t know why you’d pretend to do thing non consensually… and those arent even on the wildest side of kinks! Nappy/baby stuff? Nope! Furry stuff? Nope! Vore? Unbirth? Hentai of little girls with the often used excuse that they only “look” young? Incest? I don’t get any of it.

    Many of these things seem like they should be discussed with a therapist and not harboured and defended as a kink, but I like looking at buttholes and shoving stuff in em so who am I to talk.

    Hell, you could even question general sexuality further and say I don’t understand why people are gay, why people are trans and why people are asexual, because my own personal experience is that I’m comfortable in my male body, think women are sexy and I’m horny all the time. I don’t GET any of it, but I understand that everyone is different, and unless you’re hurting/abusing someone with your actions then who cares, just be happy doing who or what you enjoy. Who am I to judge anyone.

    Everyone is a unique individual with their own likes, dislikes, history with ups and down, and things they’re good and bad at, and a million other dimensions. You are not defined solely by the thing that floats your boat.

    I like buttholes but I’m more than just a butthole guy. I’m also bad at team sports. We all have dimensions.

    EDIT: I could have just said “poop stuff” but this comment really got away from me.

    • RadioactiveFrenulum@lemmynsfw.com
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      1 year ago

      I don’t get any of it. Many of these things seem like they should be discussed with a therapist and not harboured and defended as a kink

      Strong disagree. Kinks are not mental illnesses. People like what they like, people have fun in their own ways. Expressing that is not inherently wrong. Illegal stuff is different but if everyone is on board and having harmless fun then it’s all good.

      People can express mental illness via weird kinks, but weird kinks are not mentally ill.

      • Nubbly@lemmynsfw.com
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        1 year ago

        I used to think the same thing. But then I found out about extreme kinks or fetishes like Guro, self mutilation, etc.

        Can one be sexually attracted to forms of mutilation and still claim mental stability?

        • SluttySalamander@lemmynsfw.com
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          I don’t think you need to look at it any differently than we do other types of human behavior. Generally a behavior is not considered mental illness unless it causes significant distress for the patient or those around them.

          Do those kinks cross that line? Well, it depends on how they are acted upon to some extent. If they are only fantasies or you explore them in a safe way (role-playing, etc.), I’d have to say no. But in some cases they certainly could qualify.

      • ⛔🍆ThisAccountIsNotForPorn🍆⛔@lemmynsfw.com
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        1 year ago

        I find it a hard line to walk. As I said, I can’t judge people as I don’t know what they like or why they like it. As you said, if it’s harmless fun, that’s fine…

        But if your kink of that you want to fuck one of your parents or hurt someone, or piss yourself while pretending to be a baby… I feel like you should probably go talk to a therapist about it, as it’s possible these things come from a traumatic past.

        But then, if your therapist says you’re all cool and it’s just a safe harmless fantasy, go watch all the incest porn and be a baby because you’re all good and having fun in your own way!

        Again, that’s how I perceive it, and I’m sorry if anyone takes offence. There are some pretty wild kinks out there that are completely alien to my understanding of the world, let alone my sexuality. I’m quite happy to be wrong or re-educated because it’s not something I know a ton about and this is all just my brain thinkings being typed out with no basis in fact or research. I’m dumb all the time and this might be one of those times.

    • flute@lemmynsfw.com
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      1 year ago

      I find the opposite to be true for me. I don’t have a problem with anal or gay people or anything, but I find the risk outweigh the rewards.

      Sure, it feels nice and tight, but there is so much prep work that goes into anal that unless it was done beforehand, I can honestly leave it.

      And for me, the fact that vaginas are self lubricating is just fucking awesome (although it did take me until quite recently to learn that just because women get wetter, it doesn’t necessarily mean they are horny in the same way I can get a boner but it doesn’t necessarily mean I’m super mad horny in the moment)

  • HeavenAndHell@lemmy.world
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    I don’t understand why you’re trying to rationalize using the vagina over the anus when it comes to sex. Yes, technically you’re right, but real, emotional sex has rarely ever been about scientific facts. It’s probably not hygienic to eat pussy, but people get pleasure out of it. I have no clue what evolution has anything to do with this. Seems highly irrelevant.

  • MoltenSaltReactor@lemmynsfw.com
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    1 year ago

    Eating ass

    Sounding

    Cock & Ball Torture

    Deep throating

    Anything that’s fun for viewers but less fun for the participants

    • HeavenAndHell@lemmy.world
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      You’re assuming it’s less fun for the participants. But many people actually love doing all of that stuff and not just for the audience.

      • MoltenSaltReactor@lemmynsfw.com
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        1 year ago

        Those were all separate categoried in my comment. I didn’t say “anything else that’s for the viewer”

        Tons of people enjoy all of the things i mentioned. I’m just saying that i don’t understand those ones.

        No hate, no judgement.

    • Bombina@lemmynsfw.com
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      1 year ago

      I mean, there’s deep throating and deep throating. I love giving blowjobs and I like to feel my partner as deep inside of me as possible and take him all. Gagging and still choosing cock over air is just something I love. Having my face fucked by someone I trust? Pure bliss.

      But all the puke, force, etc you see in facial abuse or Hookup Hotshot? I’m out.

    • Too Ren@lemmynsfw.com
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      1 year ago

      Eating ass I don’t get the appeal of doing, but it definitely feels good to receive.

      Deep throating, idk it’s a fun challenge

    • Nikolett Ingénue@lemmynsfw.com
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      1 year ago

      Maybe it will help you kind of understand it if you think about people who enjoy eating extemely spicy stuff. Like it hurts them but they like it. Same concept with pain in sex, only it additionally comes with sexual arousal! :)

      Definitely not for many people though, it’s the kind of thing you either love or hate. So it’s understandable if you don’t get it if you are in the latter category.

    • Porn Account@lemmynsfw.com
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      Some people have wires crossed and experience pleasure with pain. I swear they did a study on it, but google is not being helpful.

    • HeavenAndHell@lemmy.world
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      Sometimes pain can be pleasure? It’s not my thing either, but I can see how some people think that’s sex.

  • dazedandconfused@lemmynsfw.com
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    1 year ago

    Being bi people kind of assume that I’m up for everything, and while I’ll try anything once (probably twice) there are a few things that are definitely no: watersports, scat, and blood/gore.

    I’m game for pretty much anything else, even in the BDSM world. I can see how they would be kinky fun. Those three though have something about them…

    On your point: even without a prostate, a woman’s anus and rectum have all kinds of nerve endings, and can even stimulate some of the nerves in the vagina. You could have a vibe or dildo in the vagina so the woman (and maybe man) can experience even more sensations. Finally, anal can bring a sense of deeper closeness because of how intimate it is. It can also be about power if you’re into that.

    Horniness is weird. When you’re horny and with a willing partner, you kind of want to do anything and everything you can, even sometimes stuff that would gross you out during post-nut clarity. Embrace the moment. Embrace the horny.

  • Candelestine@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Vanilla gets really old after awhile. That’s all. I mean, like you said, it’s just … right there.

  • RadioactiveFrenulum@lemmynsfw.com
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    1 year ago

    Why choose the one where the poo comes out?

    It’s different. I’m not crazy about it myself but I have done it and can appreciate it. It’s certainly tighter for the guy, and some girls enjoy receiving it. I (a guy) enjoy receiving anal also - it’s where your prostate is and it’s a sensitive area which is enjoyable to stimulate. If you haven’t tried it I strongly recommend exploring, as otherwise you’re leaving a lot of potential enjoyment on the table - it’s like a girl never trying playing with her clit. Girls don’t have the prostate but the anus is still sensitive, and sexual enjoyment can be just as much about the idea of doing something fun than the direct stimulation - see all fetishes.

    You don’t usually involve the poo, unless you’re into that. You clean first, inside and out. It’s an extra step of prep which means it can’t be as spontaneous. If you’re put off by bodily fluids, or stink/bacteria, then I have bad news for you about vaginas. Mouths are also not “designed” for sex and yet you probably still enjoy blowjobs.

    • ladel@lemmy.worldOP
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      I tried it once out of curiosity and probably since it’s really common in porn. It wasn’t terrible, but I just don’t have desire to do it again. I’m not saying butt stuff shouldn’t be enjoyed, more that I recognise that anal is actually very normal but it’s strange I’m just not into it.

      • RadioactiveFrenulum@lemmynsfw.com
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        1 year ago

        Hey, if you’re not into it then you do you. Everyone has their own interests. It’s not strange to not be into something that other people are.

        I don’t know why it’s so common in porn really.

  • flute@lemmynsfw.com
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    1 year ago

    I guess for me, it’s the whole praising of big penises and/or shaming small pensises.

    I cannot tell you how much I spent thinking and worrying if my penis will ever be big enough, will I ever satisfy a woman, etc. I’m 4 inches (4.5 inches when I’m very aroused) so seeing pornstars ogle over big cocks like it was bars of gold but never seeing any proper representation for average penises, let alone small ones, really cut into my own ego and pride.

    Once I had sex, especially when I had it regularly, I was so annoyed at what the whole big fuss was about.

    And while I’m on my soapbox, let me add the whole virginity thing too - it literally doesn’t matter if you are a virgin or not. It doesn’t make you better (or worse) if you’ve had sex, and you’re not intrinsically worth less (or more) as of a person for not having sex. It’s like thinking you are better than someone for eating ice cream.

    • thepianistfroggollum@lemmynsfw.com
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      1 year ago

      I have a buddy with a legit foot long. He couldn’t get laid because women would see it and nope out. Then he got together with another friend who is a masochist, and they lived happily ever after.

      I’m decently above average, and it does suck sometimes. My wife and I can really only have penetrative sex for about 15-20m before she starts to get sore.

      • flute@lemmynsfw.com
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        1 year ago

        That’s a really interesting point - one I would’ve never thought of. I know nobody has ever complained about being too sore from me, so I do feel better about that aspect - thank you!

        I guess it’s just a matter of “the grass is always greener on the other side” sort of thing - I see this with women and big/small boobs. Women with small boobs tend to feel more insecure, while the women with big boobs are like “believe me, your spine is grateful to you” and meanwhile I’m sitting here just appreciating all boob sizes (which is how I feel most women would feel most of the time)

  • Cynthias Cheeks @lemmynsfw.com
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    Any sort of age play. Obviously adults can do what they want, but it just weirds me out, same thing with jailbait/obsession with people looking 18 when you’re not 18-21 years old.

    This wouldn’t be necessarily a kink but just pics of people sticking out their tongue cross eyed. I just can’t fucking stand it I have no idea why lol. I think it also adds into them looking younger and it bugs me.

    Obviously disclaimer adults can do what they want to do, but if this is an open discussion about what we don’t get…here we go.

    • hi_im_FitcH@lemmynsfw.com
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      The cross eyed tongue out thing is called ahegao and I believe it started in hentai as a way to show the woman is so so into it, like she’s being fucked silly.

      It apparently caught on in western audiences with IRL women and while I can appreciate it when it’s drawn I can’t stand it when women actually do it. It looks so dumb IRL!

    • Too Ren@lemmynsfw.com
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      What do you mean by people looking 18 when they’re not 18? Do you mean what they wear and stuff, or just how they naturally look?

      • Cynthias Cheeks @lemmynsfw.com
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        1 year ago

        I understand that people can’t control how they look, but like the schoolgirl fetish bothers me personally. Not necessarily their face but how they present themselves with outfits/makeup/hair.

        It doesn’t help that personally I adopted my daughter when she was 16 and I was 28 years old. But with only a 12 year age gap I am especially sensitive to this subject because it just creeps me out because there is absolutely nothing I have in common with people in her age demographic as far as romantic/sexual interest goes.

        • Too Ren@lemmynsfw.com
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          Yeah I really hate the schoolgirl fetish. And I would be very uncomfortable if someone was like “you look so young” and was hitting on me after saying that.