The more I hear people talk about it who aren’t cis-het men, the more I hear criticism about the concept. But so far, I’ve only heard people say that it’s stupid, that it’s not a thing, that it’s men’s own fault etc. But I’ve yet to understand where that criticism comes from. I don’t want to start a discussion on whether or not it’s real or not. I just want to understand where the critics are coming from.

  • chilicheeselies@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    I think its pretty hypocritical for anyone who isnt a male to have an opinion on the validity of an experience they cant possibly have unless they transitioned.

    Its like me having an opinion on have a period.

    • tree_frog_and_rain@lemmy.world
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      11 hours ago

      On the other hand, belle hooks’, The Will to Change, is one of the most compassionate and understanding takes on the subject.

      So she has an opinion on the validity of the experience, and it is that capitalism and patriarchy is alienating for men, just like it is for others. Especially working class men.

      Nurturing Our Humanity, co-written by a female author, uses system science and primatology to validate what men experience in domination based societies.

      I know your point was more long the lines of critics shouldn’t criticize things that they don’t understand, but there are a lot of feminists that do understand and have an informed opinion, because they study how these systems of domination affect everyone, not just women.

    • obsoleteacct@lemmy.zip
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      1 day ago

      Particularly when so many trans men who have lived as women previously have come forward to validate how much more isolated men feel.

    • subtleorbit@sh.itjust.works
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      1 day ago

      I’ll disagree a little here.

      My wife’s had surgeries from men that know waaaaaay more about her period than she does.

      That being said, they went to school for a decade and have another decade of experience learning specifically about a topic. They aren’t just some random business student that dropped out 2 weeks into semester one and writes their theses via comments.

      Small but important caveat. Otherwise 100% agreed. I have no ideas on periods because I’m not a woman or a Dr.

      • tree_frog_and_rain@lemmy.world
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        11 hours ago

        Yeah I also disagreed, I’ve read some very compassionate takes on men’s situation written by academic feminists.

        Bell hooks the will to change for example. Women can be experts on gender, and how systems of domination effect everyone. Men included.

      • Goldholz @lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        7 hours ago

        And that gives them a higher position?

        Taking your argumentation into another context but keeping the same intention: europeans had colonialised africa for over 100 years, means they cant critisise the africans nations politics?

        “X did z to y so y can talk freely about matters that affect only X but x not about y”

      • the_elder@midwest.social
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        16 hours ago

        I reject your opinion. Men shouldn’t be dictating women’s bodies and women shouldn’t be dismissing men’s feelings. Two wrongs, etc etc, I shouldn’t have to explain this to an adult.

          • Goldholz @lemmy.blahaj.zone
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            7 hours ago

            Germanys longest chancler was a woman, Merkel. The EU is lead by a woman The head of the UK and Commonwealth was a woman and lets not forget PM Thatcher or Ms Salad Truss Italys PM is a woman, so is Denmarks and latvias Germanys parliament president is a woman The leader of europes biggest fascist partys in italy, france and germany are all woman.

            What gender one is doesnt matter. Its the policies. Though yes woman get the short end of the stick by old peoples preference of leadership.

            Also why bring the colour of the skin into play? For europe alone: guess what ofc its mostly going to be “white” people running their nations. Same in sub saharan africa its all black people. And guess what japan is run by japanese.

            Though i am guessing you are american and therefor segregation by race runs deep in your mind since childhood.

          • mrgoosmoos@lemmy.ca
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            15 hours ago

            brb going to use this as my defense for being an asshole to women. It’s expected of me.

        • yarr@feddit.nl
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          2 hours ago

          It’s original sin, just by gender. I think people underestimate the harm in painting all men with the same brush. Once the conversation morphs from “I hate this thing some males do” and changes into “I HATE MEN” you can’t have a productive conversation.

          • Goldholz @lemmy.blahaj.zone
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            7 hours ago

            Generalisation of a such large group of people. Love it.

            What would you say if i say “black people are bad”? Because there are also a lot of bad black people out there

            • yarr@feddit.nl
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              2 hours ago

              If you were to say “black people are bad” then the rebuttal typically becomes “due to established power structures, white men can’t be oppressed, therefore I can say what I want about them”.

              I think it’s hard to have a reasoned discussion where you say “all men do X” because for every X, there’s probably a bunch of exceptions. There is a great amount of variance in male behavior.

          • nomy@lemmy.zip
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            15 hours ago

            I am currently a men, am I bad?

            Are you a men? Are you bad because of it?

            If not, by virtue of being a not-men are you good?