I’m incredibly lonely and isolated, which is understandably depressing. But it’s also harder to make friends to solve the loneliness because I simply am too damn sad to not be a downer. When I’m at my lonliest, that’s when I’m really motivated to want to talk to someone; and venting all your depressed thoughts isn’t the best first impression. When I am actually having a good day, I don’t feel like I need anyone; I’m perfectly happy to be alone and spend time with myself.

I wanted to really meet new people here, and try to be closer than just a stranger on the Internet but I am struggling with it and it’s very concerning to me. I never had problems being myself online, and a decade ago I would have said my online self is more the real me than the me in the real world due to my mostly non-verbal nature. I’m much more open, or was, when I am communicating through text. But since marrying and divorcing I’ve been unable to really share myself that way even in the spaces I felt most comfortable.

On top of all that, I have this extreme urge to be with a furry. I don’t mean like an actual anthropomorphic character, but like… Another human who is a furry. Lately I’ve wondered if I am actually just fetishizing it, but the main reason I specifically want to be with another furry is it feels like it would be easier to be understood and get along being little weirdos together. But I also live in a super conservative part of an otherwise liberal state; just being queer in general is hard enough here finding someone who shares in other interests like this even harder.

I don’t know where I’m going with this I just needed to vent to real people and not to a wall or an AI. I mean, I’d love to just be engaged with a little. Get me to open up I guess? If anyone is even interested despite my bullshit. IDK… I feel stupid now after saying all this, but I’m hitting the post button anyway.

  • purringfox@yiffit.netEnglish
    3·
    1 year ago

    Hey. You have my sympathy.

    There is sadly no general solution to get rid of the loneliness-feeling. But since I’m a bit in a similar situation I can tell you what I did and am trying to do:

    • Accept most real life invitations of friends/family/colleagues, also when you feel your “inner-self” not willing.

    • Don’t overfocus only on your interests, be open for new stuff. Sometimes it is interesting enough to just listen to interests of different people.

    • Don’t think about you being alone. Redirect your thoughts somewhere else.

    • Find yourself an online pen-pal, with whom you write at least one msg per day. For example in my community !fur4fur@yiffit.net. Online contacts are not as good as IRL ones, but IMO it is still better to have a one-to-one conversation with someone, than just consuming content on social media. A heads up with finding people online, I only recommend that when you have a “thick fur”, since people on the internet are strange and mean sometimes.

    • Mainly try to find friends, not relationships. The latter should technically come on its own, when your social network grows.

    Feel free to DM me, I’m always happy to make some new online friends. Read more about me in my intro post on fur4fur.