Moose when he gets home to his wife and foals: You would not believe the day I’m having

Moose’s wife: * hides the divorce pinecones *

It’s so I can exchange fart jokes with my great great great great grandson via a magic USB port a la The Notebook, assuming that’s how it works, idk, never actually seen the movie.

I’m partial to a peanut butter burger, which also comes with mayonnaise and thin pickles sliced long-ways.

Welcome to my unboxing video, make sure to like and subscribe, and watch all the way to the end because ẗ̷̟̹͔́̒h̷̥͈̤̿̈͋e̶̢̛̺̮͒̉ ̶̭͈̟̍̍c̵̗͓̓̽̾͜u̵͍̣̲͆̾ṙ̷̯̪̓̑ṣ̶̌ê̶̢̤͂ ̸̡͊͐̍ȏ̵̻f̷̧̩̿̒ ̶̖̬̭̍͑ţ̸̛̰̼͛̉ḩ̸̛̣͙ȩ̴̀͐ ̵̣̖̪̉͆̓á̴̺͎͐̀n̸̡̖͚̈́͊c̸̩͇̈́͘į̸͉̌̚ẹ̴͒ṉ̵͉̈ẗ̸̬́͑ ̷̲̎͂͐ơ̷̱̗n̵̨̲͓̈́e̸͙̱̩͋ ̶͍̑͑͠ͅḫ̸̢̟̈́͋͂ȁ̵̼̼͠s̸̖̘̝̾ ̷̼̑́̇i̸̡̟͂̒̋͜n̶̨̜̹̑̑̄f̶̹̻̟̃ḙ̷̩͜͠c̶̩͖̑t̴͓̝̞͠e̸̡̗̦̿͝d̵̬̋̊ ̴̠̈́̿y̴͎̼͊̍͌ò̷͔̽͂ǘ̴̢̜̞͒̇r̷͉̓͑̂ ̵̳͚͑́͠s̴̤͑̈́ȍ̴̝͓̽ͅu̵͉̝͒̎̔l̵̦̳̅ͅ.

Turns out the guy was named Christian Griepenkerl and he died in 1912, so… maybe waiting in line at the pearly gates, he might have gotten pulled to the side for Secondary Security Screening Selection.

listed numerous measures the force has taken against racial profiling including training, internal directives, a diversity action plan and collaboration with community groups

Have they tried firing officers who racially profile?

In other news, I just can’t seem to stop my room mate from shitting all over my bed. I have tried hosting proper toilet etiquette seminars, posting the “no bed shitting” policy in common areas, and even brought in some experts in how to not shit on your room mate’s bed. I guess I just have to make time each morning for an extra long shower.