I’d eat a burger called “Hammy McBurger”.

McDonalds! Get on this! Forget your stupid monopoly game!

Just bring back the Arch Deluxe, call it the Hammy McBurger. Market it as “Life is stupid, nothing makes sense. Now eat a Hammy McBurger! Consume!!!”

Ok. Lets rewind a second…why was there a train on the second floor of this resteraunt to begin with??? Trains just don’t randomly show up. SOMEONE built the tracks to run through the second floor of this building.

It’s one banana! How much could it possibly cost? $10?

Maybe they’re just going through a drought. Just need some rain…purple rain!

…Prince? Anybody remember Prince? No? Ok. I’m old. I remember watchig the OJ Simpson car chase live on tv.

OJ Simpson. He was a football player in NFL. Then he “allegedly” but absolutely did kill his wife. It was a whole thing. Norm McDonald loved joking about murder.

Hey, we don’t kink shame here. You do you. Or rather, you do a fire hydrant…

What fire hydrant?

Especially inside the toilet.

Wait, that was season 7? The sponge was discontinued in 1994. Seinfeld debuted I think in 1990. That means the sponge episode was 3 years after the discontinuement of the sponge!

You want someone to test your games for ways to break it? I know just the guy!

“Hey there, it’s Josh. Today we’re checking out The Milgram Experiment. Thank you devs for the complimentary game code. This is a horror/moral choice simulator. And we all know how trustworthy MY morals and choices are! But enough about that, it’s time for NEW GAME!!!”

20 minutes later

“Well, everything’s on fire. Everyone’s dead. And the frame rate is a staggering 3 frames per year! So that seems like a great place to call it a day. I hope you had fun, I know I did, and I’d like to thank the devs for this copy of their broken game. I’ll see ya next time!”

Don’t mind if I do!

…oops. Yes I did.

I remember when GTA 5 came out, everybody was excited. San Andreas had been HUGE. Both in map size, and in game sales.

I bought it day 1. Then the PS4 came out, and GTA5 for PS4. By this point we all knew what GTA5 was.

My friend wanted so badly for me to buy a PS4, just to buy GTA 5 again, just so he’d have someone to play with.

Then PS5 came out. Same story.

I actually bought a PS4 at some point. Regret it. Barely ever played it.

Then I bought a PS5. Regret it. Barely ever play it.

And now that I know how microtransaction laiden GTA is, I’ll be skipping GTA6 entirely.

Now I see them firing a bunch of people. A few days later I see GTA6 is delayed until this time next year.

Why would anyone be excited for a series that now peaked 21 years ago, and has only had 1 other release in that time?

Oh, look at mr fancy pants! With his “air” he can afford to fry! Must be nice to afford all that air…

With RFKjr in charge of health and human services, is this even satire? Or is it a spoiler?

Giraffe doesn’t so much look like a supportive friend, as he does a confused bystander who just had a cat climb his 19 foot neck, and is now sleeping on his face.

And cats have total disrespect for other peoples personal space or being in the way.

Plus, first rule of cats is, if they lay on you, or even sleep on you, you can’t move until they’re done. The look on giraffes face says "Aw, come on! I was going to go to the river and socialize! Now I can’t move for a few hours…it’s the law!

Without context, I honestly thought this reply was in reference to my comment abput red lobster having unlimited popcorn shrimp.

It was actually unrelated. He just got a call that unlimited popcorn shrimp was back at Red Lobster for a limited time.

Edit: People downvoting me must have tried to go to Red Lobster, only to realize it’s not back in their area. And now they’re mad at me for getting them hungry.

You think Americans will think? We have wildly different predictions for how that scenario plays out.

Wait…you think the vast majority of trump voters are wealthy?

Uhhhhhh…I don’t even know how to respond to that without feeling like I’m talking down to you.

This please! Disband ICE!