No, you all don’t want to do the very easy thing kf asking permission to discuss these things because you want to sexually harass women into conversations they don’t want to have.

Not an addiction.

What?

No, that’s not what he said. And there’s tons of studies.

2nd sentence from your own link:

The concept is contentious;[2][3][4] as of 2023, sexual addiction is not a clinical diagnosis in either the DSM or ICD medical classifications of diseases and medical disorders

https://www.insidehook.com/sex-and-dating/sex-addiction-not-real-and-time-stop-calling

https://www.vice.com/en/article/theres-no-such-thing-as-a-sex-addiction/

It’s not real, it’s just weird abstinence / No Fap rebranded.

The “Is it an ADDICTION??” Pearl clutching from the 90s needs to go too.

It is. Asking someone, “Do you mind if I talk about this?” is cognitively and calorically the same as , “Can I kiss you?” “Do you like this?” “Is this okay?”

The damage done by unwanted sexual talk can be significant- eg Trump saying he and Ivanka have sex in common on Wendy Williams, or how he’d be dating her if she wasn’t his daughter on Howard Stern.

This is different than physical sexual abuse which not only has psychological harm (as before), it also has physical harm.

In general, having a light hearted conversation with friends whose general boundaries you’re already aware of, isn’t a big deal, just like saying “hey, everyone is cool with this right?” is also not a big deal to actually do but is still important.

Like I’m getting all this pushback for recommending people consider saying “You all good with this?” Lol

You said there’s many that are equivalent in the trauma and triggering. You can’t even name one other?

The one I can think of - war - is quite obvious you should check in with people and just say, “I know this is a topic that can be tough to talk about, do you mind?” Eg my friend’s entire family overseas just died to the war in Ukraine/Russia. Or someone’s dad may have died in a war. Etc.

So go on, name an example, just 1, of a topic that’s equivalent and explain why you wouldn’t want to just check in and make sure the person you’re talking with is comfortable.

Heck, asking you for an example of your own claim was apparently triggering af, maybe use that. Is this as traumatizing as war or sexual abuse? Giving an example?

Good job, I AM happy with this misogynist’s suffering, which they deserve for being a misogynist imo.

There’s no such thing as a sex addiction.

They are pretty common on Lemmy tbh. I think like 4 months ago some guy on here was telling me it was “natural” to be attracted to 14 year olds. He got a bunch of upvotes, like at least 30 iirc. Lemmy is pretty disturbing tbh.

The idea that discussion of sex is itself a sexual act seems like it muddies the topic.

If it wasn’t a sex act, then phone sex workers wouldn’t exist, erotica wouldn’t exist.

There’s certainly ways of discussing sex that require consent, like erotic roleplaying

It’s called negotiations or initiation. These are abstract ways people talk about sex more clinically to see if people mesh or what kinks they have. People ABSOLUTELY get off to ANY discussion about sex. And that is a huge part of why some people only want to share thar side of themselves with safe people, especially if they aren’t an exhibitionist.

If any discussion of sex is taboo in public situations it leads to exactly the sort of issues OP is trying to reduce, where the norms of silence act as a shield for abusers.

Again, I assert it isn’t TABOO, but PRIVATE/PERSONAL. Just like my medical history isn’t taboo, it’s private and personal. It’s emotionally invasive to discuss sex with others for some people.

What shields abusers, ironically, is not discussing consent and not putting consent first. Also, the belief that abuse is automatically contagious- eg the belief a child who has been abused will go on to abuse another - which makes the victim feel like they ARE a monster like their abuser and makes them afraid to admit the abuse to others.

Abuse is literally handled by consent and boundary discussions, and additionally with straightforward biology and public health info (STIs are a sign of sexual abuse as well, via germ warfare and usually a lack of access to healthcare).

I talk with some friends about sex, and some friends not so much. I have friends who get stressed talking about anal, and one friend who gets extremely disturbed whenever someone brings up licking food off bodies as a sex act (she was tricked as a young child to do this).

As a Dominatrix, I have met people with such a wide variety of desires and pasts and traumas, that I think it’s best, if you want to have happy healthy discussions about sex, to just say something chill to make sure everyone is comfortable. There is just so much variety in the world and you have NO idea what kinks someone might have.

Ofc people make mistakes, they trigger others, I’m not suggesting the cops come out. I’m just pointing out that it is abuse, harmful, and that your friends may feel like healing from these interactions isn’t really worth being around you anymore. Because that’s the decision they are making if you trigger them and don’t care- how to enforce their boundaries.

Talking about sex needs to be done with some caution to not upset others

This is literally what I’m saying. Upsetting others means you are violating their emotional boundaries. If they do not consent to the interaction, then they might get mad.

It’s literally so easy to say, “hey, I’m going to bring up an adult topic, anyone uncomfortable with that?” And then if anyone says yes, say nevermind. its so easy and you all bellyaching like its a hike up a mountain is WEIRD.

Which other topics? List some

How so? How is the adjective Lusty, equivalent to forcing women and others to speak about sex when they don’t want to and feel uncomfortable about talking about it?

Lusty, an adjective, isn’t equivalent to describing sex acts that may trigger people, or asking them to engage in sexual conversation irl for the sake of normalization when they may not want to.

Why is consent and respecting people’s boundaries so hard for you all? Why do you need to try to find ways around consent? So curious, why are you doing this?

And you know, I do wish harm on you, as much harm as you put on others. May you be treated as consensually as you treat others. My curse to you and all reading this.

Because guess what, self defense isn’t abuse.

I don’t manage your feelings. Why are you asking me if you’re supposed to be angry? How tf would I know? It’s your limbic system, your boundaries, your reaction.

Imagine being so vurnable to someone only to find out they just use you to exercise their personal misandristic vendaetta with physical violence.

I’m a Dominatrix. It’s what they seek me out for and pay me to do. It’s what they want. Their boundaries are different than yours.

Honestly, after your last statement I’m kind of afraid of what kind of explotation masked as “progressiveness” and “self expression” might go on there.

Consensual BDSM scares you? I thought we were getting rid of the taboo around sex, no? There are some clubs that are vanilla only.

The only people you find romantic companionship with, per your comments, are men. That makes you homoromantic at minimum. If your sexuality issues weren’t literally causing you to be a misogynist and hurt women, I wouldn’t say anything. But yeah, you like men more because you LIKE men more. Download Grindr and leave women alone.

They understand what they have to do to keep the yapping in check and this will mostly be enough till death will do them appart.

No but here is another paragraph where you edge yourself to how much more amazing men are than women. That’s not a straight man thing to do. Straight men typically compete with other men for women’s approval. YOU, however, are competing with other WOMEN for MEN’S approval.

I meant dirty work in the most literal sense. Sewage, trash collection, sanitation, oil rigs, mining quarries, etc

Sewage - like changing dirty diapers? Cleaning up vomit and blood? Pus from abscesses? Bloody diarrhea, c diff infections? Trash collection, sanitation- like cleaning, yet again? Housekeeping? And I’ve mined, welded, and worked on farms with other women so try again there. The reason women can’t stay in those fields is that they get isolated with men and it endangers them, plus men haze women out of blue collar jobs. Ask any woman in those fields, there’s enough of them online.

Don’t act like women will gladly pick up all men’s actual dirty jobs if they would be fed up with them

Yet again jacking off to men, you can’t stop yourself. Recommend reading the book Delusions of Gender by Cordelia Fine - yes women can and already do any job men do. Is this like 1805 or something? How is this news to you?

Sarah Silverman (in my opinion) is an one of the all time greats.

She is literally the opposite of everything you claim women must be.

No, even fully grown men can find a cool stick on the ground and it will make their whole day. Women need 5 pillars of globalized industry,

More made up jacking off to men good women bad.

My take? You want to be a submissive woman, and you want a daddy to come in and take care of you and beat you for being a woman because you hate yourself. Everything you type fits that archetype.

Ironically if you were nice to women, they’d show you how to dress up and put on makeup and wigs and include you so you can attract the man of your dreams and stop being shitty to us.

idealy sombody else to foot the bill to make them be a little bit less annoyed.

If you don’t understand why women deserve capital from men, just say that. I already understand you have a slave woman kink to men. You’ve made that abundantly clear.

That’s why men start digging holes at the beach with their bare hands

Lol how are you able to type while sucking off a guys cock and stroking two others? Amazing work

No, they aren’t. They are justifying abuse because they are abusive. Are you proud to run defense for them?

Should have been angry? What? Do you understand what a boundary is?

Like this is the chain of discussion:

-Sex should he normalized

-Sex must have consent as its foundation, including discussions with your friends, because it’s not a norm (per OP own admission it is taboo! Although I argue it is private&personal rather than taboo) and may trigger people withs equal abuse histories, and if you want to be in a space where that IS the norm, you can try sex clubs

-You then take that to apply to ALL discussions on a discussion board, to say that I have to cater to your feelings so you don’t have to be concerned about consent with others - like, come on. I hope you do feel bad for this garbage take, it seems like you deliberately and maliciously want to blur consent lines particularly sexually and have practice doing so

No, I’m not. I quoted the exact part where they said “getting involved,” which was separate from the section about observing. Read it again. They mean children doing sex acts is “probably” harmful. It isn’t PROBABLY harmful, IT IS HARMFUL.