My cats reveal that I am the most generous and loveable human

Release the Epstein files ?

Release wolves carrying the Epstein files ? Surely Blanche wouldn’t dare touch them then!

The fact that you’re denying it makes me think you actually are a cat

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Me: “It wasn’t me officer! AI did it.”

Officer: “Your car is full of empty beer bottles, you smell like weed, you’re holding a crack pipe and you just drove into a family of four. Step out of the vehicle.”

bring JD Vance with you every time you poop.

JD should get this instead of a prison sentence

That’s what she said

EDIT: I’ll see myself out. What the fuck is wrong with me. I have to go. I’m going. Sorry, everyone! I’m leaving.

Never used it

Yea! My family didn’t have slaves! My family were poor! Do you have any idea how much a slave cost back then?

https://youtube.com/shorts/2DehCxVeVBw

Can you blame him? He’s got a thing going with Bubba. He won’t ruin that by letting some BBC inside his finances

Get naked? That is extremely dangerous. I always wear a hazmat suit and have a cleanup crew ready.

I’m so into vanilla it’s crazy. Seriously. Practically any dessert.

To be fair, you can still shit standing up

“It’s the stone age. Pants hadn’t been invented yet.”, said the director to the actress

( You reminded me of this https://faroutmagazine.co.uk/george-lucas-carrie-fisher-wear-underwear-star-wars/ )

Not gonna lie, Pete BUTTigieg does sound like a stereotypical gay character in an 80s sitcom.

Is this why no one in the Bible is trans?

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Spoiler alert: they’ll just ban contraception, abortion and sex ed instead

“Infection is the best protection” sounds fucking crazy

I get the context, I get the point

But it’s still crazy

The lettuce gave no one diahreea. That’s at least one point for the lettuce