The grocery store I work for played the Skyrim theme once, fuck I felt awesome while cutting watermelon.

I became the Melonborn!

Nah cunt, you keep your fucking hands off our bluey! That’s our department of education.

I don’t like that, the Delorean is exponentially better than the nazicar in every way.

Jesus Christ that’s a scary looking fuck doll.

Heaven: me chilling in my bedroom with all of the dogs I’ve ever owned, who can also talk to me, I have an endless supply of weed, Coca-Cola and the ability to make any of my favourite foods cooked in the way I remember with access to every single piece of entertainment at my fingertips.

Hell: just me being forced to spend eternity listening to my asshole father scream about me not wanting to play sports and how it’s my mum’s fault his life sucks, obviously I’m also being tortured by demons but that’s my layer of personal hell they’d add.

She looks angry at me because I’m too poor to help her father.

Did Nintendo go back into business with the Yakuza?

Well I can’t go a day without hadoukening my dog in our epic battles.

Yeah I’m gonna go home and work out how to shut mine up lol.

But then I don’t get the adrenaline rush of beating the microwave.

I was joking when I said that last week. Wtf is reality anymore.

Nah it can’t be that, that numbers way too low to be that.

Come get your $19,990 Apple Screen, the custom designed proprietary stand can be purchased for only $7,990.

Red Bull also tastes like shit.

Hmmmm, I think I want to go catch and release fishing and show them random shit.

In the 2370s, an FCA liquidator named Brunt had a particular interest in a Ferengi entrepreneur named Quark

No he was weirdly obsessed with Quark, like on a personal level, I think he may have had a slight crush on Quark, always coming up with excuses to come see him on DS9.

Thought I was having an acid flashback for a second.

The freedom convoy was less about freedom and more about being an entitled selfish dick.

They were protesting against having to have compassion and empathy towards people beyond their small bubble. They weren’t fighting for people’s rights for freedom, they were protesting against other people’s rights to stay healthy and alive, it was a selfish act by selfish assholes.

People were dying because people wouldn’t take the safety precautions seriously and these assholes thought they were superheros saving the world, no, they were assholes who were used by bigger assholes to cause as much chaos as they could to undermine the faith in the system they were fearful about.

Giant fucking babies.