Ronaldo plays for a football team based in Saudi Arabia. That sheikh whose name I forget, the one who murdered the journalist Jamal Khashogi, was in Washington meeting with Trump. Said sheikh brought Ronaldo along, presumably because he’s good buddies with Ronaldo and wanted to show off his fancy sports puppet to Trump.

Ronaldo is also a petulant little child who got sent off for elbowing a player in a match against Ireland last week.