I’m not gonna lie, I’ve been depressed and hopeless for the past year, not because I feel I have nothing to live for, but because I do. I’m finally a real fucking person for the first time in my life, and I’m living through a nightmare world I somewhat expected. None of this really surprised me. I knew our future would be a horrific decline for my entire adult life, but I was prepared to face it because I didn’t care whether I lived or died.
The year and a half I had as myself before I knew I’d have to live through fascism was the first time I was truly looking forward to my future. I naively hoped that I’d at least have till China invaded Taiwan to establish a life for myself without an extreme upending of the status quo, but then the worst came to pass and I knew it was only a matter of time till my future became fully criminalized.
So now all I can do is survive. To not get imprisoned and very likely die. To somehow outlast the hate directed at us and start to regain what was lost. I won’t kill myself for them; they’ll need to do it themselves.
🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂
“Provoke outrage, outright. … Make it impossible to justify the cost of the fight. … Out run, Out last. … Stay alive till this horror show has past. We’re gonna fly a lot of flags half mast.” - Lin-Manuel Miranda
I want a telescoping flag pole so I can fly a flag at double mast when someone wicked dies.
FWIW, many of the elder gays/lesbians I know are getting armed and learning/teaching to shoot. Other folks are migrating to safer places to provide a pathway to safety for trans people. Straight allies are training in resistance, de-escalation, wasting fash time and resources. Others are training skills and tactics best mentioned in person.
To be clear, I think we need a lot more of it. And we need to connect, grow, share, provide mutual aid, etc offline (or on encrypted platforms) more as well. Everyone whose heart isn’t rotten has a role that they can play, and an amount of risk they’re in the position to take on. It’s not on the shoulders of those who are targeted, but community, connectivity, and working for a cause can be great ways to counter hopelessness and despair. Find it where and how you can, survive, stay safe, and know you are loved.
It’s sad that the people who spread hate are the loud ones and the people who just want to live their lifes … just live their lifes. There are a lot of people who do not hate you and accept and appreciate you as you are. It’s just that they’re unseen and unheard because the hateful bigots drown their voices.
All the best to everyone who feels alone and hated. You’re not, and it’s a shame that we’re not able to shield you from those assholes. I hope this shit storm will die out soon.
There is a certain amount of waiting for things, but things will not improve until people work hard to make things better. Things will not simply go back to normal, we need to make things better than before to prevent this from happening again.
edit: spelling and grammar
I agree, but I hope that people will start to feel ashamed again to be assholes in public. You will always have a certain amount of people you don’t agree with. I just want to make sure not agreeing with me doesn’t mean wanting to kill me. And they can not agree with me all they want as long as they do it behind shut doors.
Just existing as yourself is fighting in and of itself. Refusing to be invisible and resolving to love yourself is the most important stand you can take in the face of hatred.
We’ve always been here and we always will. We aren’t going anywhere.
Just so you know, there are a lot of allies out here rooting for you, too, even among white cis het men like me. Unfortunately, hate is winning the day right now but, here’s hoping weanage to stave off fascism.
There is a French organization that says “self support is fight on short term, and fight is self support on long term”, to be able to fight, you need to be alive. I still don’t know shit about me, but this quote gives me courage to look unto myself, maybe it can help you too.
We’ve always been here and we will always be here.
You got this. You’re doing a great job.
I hope things get better for you! I would have recommended you get out of your country before they cancel your passport or something, but I’m not sure if it gets any better in other places. Even Europe seems to be speed-running fascism, and it’s probably a matter of time before we follow in the US’ steps…
Stay strong, and if things get really hairy, consider living off-grid. Gather together with other people that go through this, and make an escape plan. I believe it’s becoming more and more sustainable nowadays with the advancements of solar panel technology to live outside civilization well.
Even Europe seems to be speed-running fascism, and it’s probably a matter of time before we follow in the US’ steps…
The good thing is, that we still have the chance to affect things and fight against fascism. Even seeing how bad things get in USA (very sadly) might make it easier for people here to realize they don’t want that.
And as a transperson in the nordics; even if things have been getting slightly worse for us unwanteds here as well, it’s still not even close to how bad it was only like thirty years ago. We’re people now and get state funded medical care for transitioning etc.
Australia is a cool option! Personally I’d avoid the Eastern states right now, but that’s just my South Australian perspective. To someone from the US or UK, anywhere here is a utopia. It is predicted to be largely incompatible with human life by 2050 for climate reasons, but I’m sure we’ll have built some lovely underground cities by then.
Even though I’ve never met you, I have love for you and I hope you make it out of all this better on the other side…if there is another side
Can you get work or study out of The USA? When the work or study ends USA should be safe or you might be able to claim asylum/refugee status.
It’s an option, but I’m not betting on it. Nowhere is really safe from fascism and transphobic laws
Hah, my therapist was going through a list of countries where it would be safer with trans rights than this place in the middle east I’m at. Portugal, Iceland, etc. Not just do I also see the whole world super unstable right now anyway, but I also might just stay to fight for rights here, as my personal preference.
Also FWIW or if you ever lose sight of your self-worth, your memes played the most significant part in my realising my gender identity better and all the good that will come from that, and I’m forever grateful for it.
I grew up in the middle east, closeted, and only out to my therapist(s). (In fact, it took a while to find one who didn’t look at me with shock/horror/disgust lol.) I really feel for you and am also inspired by you!
I’m glad you found one who is (at least somewhat) working :) and thank you for the kind words. It’s really sweet :)
Thank you. It means a lot to me.
And to me! You’re welcome :)
