IIRC, Lucifer is the bad guy because Elohim said “I made these humans - bend your knee to them”, and Lucifer said “no fam, I only bend my knee to you”, so Elohim said “the hell you do - GTFO!”, and yeeted Lucifer from the heavens.
That’s what I recall - it may or may not be based on the Bible.
There’s actually very little evidence of Satan being a dick.
When I say “evidence” I mean the book comprised of stolen stories and single perspectives, passed through the translative hands of power hungry entities. But even then, when you actually look at it, Satan comes across as the good guy.
Exodus 20:5
You shall not worship them or serve them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God.
God is such a beta cuck.
Yeah, he gave us the gift of knowledge and rebelled against a tyrant.
And also kept repeating to a guy “you know, you don’t have to be tortured and killed”.
Clearly an intervention for someone in a toxic relationship.
Satan, the Devil or Lucifer? To some they’re the one and the same. To me they’re three different characters.
But god is the ultimate dick. He created everything and decided to torture us. He could have just created us as he wanted but he didn’t and then he fucks with us as a result of what he made us. That is some fucked up psycho shit.
The more I think of it I think it would be cool if there was a myth in the vein of Satan about an angel that stood up to God and tried to be an actual good and just steward of humanity.
This is literally what happens in the Bible
Wouldn’t be a stretch. I mean the “bad” guy tempted the guy in the desert who was fasting, probably saving his life and gave the Adam and Eve knowledge. I mean….
The knowledge of good and evil is also what let us rise above simple base instincts.
Given the choice between blissful ignorance, and the ability to improve, I would take the latter every time. Even with its costs.
Also, god didn’t have to create a tree that grows fruit that would give the only two humans in existence that knowledge.
It makes no fucking sense.
Preaching to the converted on that one!
I do quite like the satanic temple’s take on things however.
God loves the smell of burning flesh, (with meat sacrifices throughout Bible) and while you are in Heaven, you can see Hell and talk to the damned and watch them suffer… and smell them, too.
So, to make a long story short, people were created to be God’s eternal incense, and Hell is the incense burner.
He could have just made incense too, of course. But He did this instead. Because He’s a dick
He could have just made incense too, of course. But He did this instead. Because He’s a dick
Just like buying real diamonds, the smell of burning flesh just isn’t the same without the knowledge that it’s the result of unimaginable suffering.
Whether you consider it biblically OR from the actions of his most vocal followers, there’s no way to come away from Christianity with the idea that God is the GOOD guy.
It’s an entire theology of hoping your dad won’t beat you if you behave well enough.
You know that evil guy down the street? The one dad’s always telling you to avoid? The one dad says won’t simply beat you, but will torture you for eternity if given the chance?
So anyway, dad was casually chatting with him one day and he made a bet about your loyalty. Remember that week when all your stuff was tossed out, all your pets died, and all your friends disappeared? And shit just kept getting worse and worse no matter how much you suffered? Yeah. Your dad did that. He did all of that just to prove a point to that “evil” guy. Totally the actions of somebody with your best interests at heart.
Now go tell him you still love him so the evil neighbor doesn’t take you away forever.
Generational trauma?
Because I’m up here and you’re down there, sucks to suck
LMFAO!
I showed my wife, she was not impressed.
Is she religious?
Yup
Condolences
No she just has super high standards in online comics.
I really appreciate the simplicity of this. It really is that obvious.
Saying “oh damn” to the guy you’ve literally damned for eternity as basically the poster child of damning is next level.










